The Pros and Cons

Adults and students are connected to others digitally, every day, sharing information via one or more social networking sites. On the one hand, the world of social media is all about engagement, a new form of communication, interaction, the exchange of information – it's about connection. But what about social media safety?

As parents, we need to be aware of the sites our children visit frequently, and particularly observant of the social networking sites our children use to share information with others – because all too often, they're sharing somewhat sensitive (or inaccurate) information. And that comes with more risks than we'd like to admit.

Time to Have A Conversation

So it's time to start talking with your children about their safety on social media, and particularly the use of anonymous sites. Try to approach this conversation from a place of understanding and curiosity, not fear and judgment. We are all learning how to manage these sites, and when our kids understand that we're not “accusing them” for using social media, but trying to help them navigate safely, they'll be more likely to hear your concerns, rather than dismissing your comments as “so last year!”

Parent Guidelines to Talking With Your Kids About Social Media Safety:

• Dialogue: engage in an ongoing conversation with your child about how she spends her time online, which apps she uses the most, etc. Allow this to be informative, and try to keep the judgment out of your voice! Stay curious and open. This is not a one-time conversation.
• Set clear expectations: make sure your child is clear about what is and is not an appropriate interaction online. Have conversations about what is reasonable to share, and what is not. Again, leave the judgment out – be as matter-of-fact as possible. And draw from your own experiences – including how you decide what to share.
• Follow, friend, connect: create profiles and share your child's social network experience. You don't have to comment if they don't want you to, but they should not be on any sites that you are not able to access. Make this a non-negotiable condition of their social media usage. As long as they are minors, set the clear expectation that you'll be connected to them for everyone's safety. (If your response to this is, “but they don't want me to,” then let's talk. Your problem may be bigger than "just" social media.)
• Keep looking at each other: make room for face-to-face communication at home that is device-free! Meals, book time before bed, weekend time – make sure your kids have some quality time with you -- and you with them -- that is not in front of a screen.

Specifics On How to Keep ‘Em Safe

With thanks to The Paideia School's fabulous technology department, here are some guidelines to keeping your kids safe in this new, digital world.

• Ideally, children and teens should only connect with people they know personally – in the physical world. Befriending strangers online is never a good idea; and yet, without consideration, many of us accept connection invitations from friends-of-friends and even perfect strangers because it seems harmless.
• Students should create closed, locked, or otherwise private profiles on social networking sites. Doing so means that the only people who have access to your child's profile are people who have been purposefully accepted as connections. Any site that allows strangers to see your profile, like, love, comment, or dialogue with you in any way opens doors to unpredictable and potentially harmful situations.
• Avoid sites where anonymous engagement is allowed. There are a number of sites on the internet that allow students to join, post, and respond to questions anonymously. These sites are also available as apps on smartphones. Anonymously posting comments to one another, and not owning your words, is not a healthy way to communicate. Students should refrain from using these sites, as they are often used to intimidate and bully other people.
• Let's talk about porn: Teens are particularly prone to seeking out porn. That may be a very uncomfortable truth for you and there are ways to keep all the great tips in this article (remember, no judgment) in mind, including these additional resources. Like, how to talk to your teens about porn. As well as in this Parenting with Impact podcast episode about teens' porn exposure, and this one about kids' and pre-teens' online exposure.

Great Internet Resources for Parents

There are a few resources that we highly recommend to keep you informed, and help you keep your kids safe online.

• Common Sense Media. This site has great articles that explain the positives and negatives of different social-media platforms and more.
• LearningWorks for Kids, founded by our Guest Expert and webinar presenter, Dr. Randy Kulman, explores very kid-appropriate apps and games.
• Our Digital Parenting Kit features five in-depth interviews with leading global experts, parent training and coaching by ImpactParents.com, and a comprehensive Resource Guide.