The Marathon View in Parenting: In It For the Long Haul
After the birth of my first child, I started working on a book with a friend that was loosely titled “What You Didn’t Expect When you were Expecting.” I mean, things were going along so well, Download a free tipsheet, "10 Tips for Calm & Confident Parenting." Use the coach-approach to change the tone in your home or classroom -- starting now! until…WHAM! The babies were born. It was nothing like we expected. We were committed to a parenting marathon but had done absolutely no conditioning to prepare ourselves for the long haul. Where were those Hallmark commercials we planned for? The flowing white nightgowns and the smiling babies, cooing and giggling and hitting every developmental milestone right on cue? Parenting, it turns out, is not for the faint of heart. It is a tough job with grueling hours and is so far below the minimum wage as to be laughable. There are lots of rewards, of course – and they are hard-won (and often short-lived)! The role of endurance in parenting is not to be underestimated. The physical challenges of being a parent – sleeplessness, stress, carrying, and lifting – are certainly enough to keep us fit or age us exponentially. But usually, it’s the emotional challenges that weigh us down and keep us up at night. We start off as parents with goals and dreams that have little to do with the other human being involved – our child – over whom we have absolutely no control. Influence, maybe, but no control. Oh, yeah – and that human being is constantly changing. A key lesson for many of us is understanding what is and is not in our control, much like Mark Bertin talks about in his article about Redirecting without Judgment. This is truer in the case of our kids than almost anything else. We WANT so much for our kids. In truth, sometimes “WANTING” is the only tool we have. We can’t control their health, or their height, or their gifts or passions. But we can WANT them to be successful, to do well in school, to make good friends, etc. We expend a huge amount of energy as parents – particularly when our kids have complex needs – constantly re-evaluating what is best for our kids. We consider the options, and then we try to compare that to what we WANT for our kids. Frankly, it’s exhausting. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do it because the ability to respond to new circumstances is the mark of a responsive parent. But we do need to make sure that we take care of ourselves along the way so that we don’t burn ourselves out. Take a marathon approach to parenting (otherwise known as the marathon view in parenting!). Once you recognize that this is an endurance game, these 10 steps will guide you on your path: So, take some time to look at the big picture of your role as a parent. Where are you changing things up and finding the strength to endure, and where are you burning yourself out? Which of the 10 steps above really needs your attention? Are you ready for the parenting marathon? Get set. Continue… Get your FREE Guide to Motivating your Complex Kid NOW and save yourself hours of frustration! Download a free tipsheet, "10 Tips for Calm & Confident Parenting." Use the coach-approach to change the tone in your home or classroom -- starting now!
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Want to Go from Chaos to Calm?
Expect the Unexpected – Take the Marathon View in Parenting
Wanting for Our Kids
So, how do we stay in it for the long haul?
Ready to help your kid get things done?
Want to Go from Chaos to Calm?
