Take aim really specifically.
So, you've heard us talk about taking aim and how it's important to focus on one issue at a time, and figure out how to work it out, detail by detail, right? Take aim very specifically means take aim on really little details. So, not just the big picture of "trouble getting out of the house in the morning" or "getting your kid to do chores," but get very specific on the task that you're looking for a child to do or for exactly what changes you'd like to see happen. Get really, really detailed.
It's not just, "I want him to pick up his toys," but maybe, "I want him to pick up his toys in this particular place." Or, "I want her to unload the dishwasher by five o'clock," or whatever the task is, get really, really targeted on what you're looking to see change. And that will enable you to create a plan that really works.
Taking Aim is the first step in the Impact Model for creating lasting behavioral change (which you can learn easily, and in more detail, in The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, and More). Many parents tell us that it has the most profound impact of anything we teach!
As parents, it's easy for us to feel like we're supposed to tackle every problem our kids face. And even easier to expect them to do everything we ask, independently, and without any push back.
Would be nice in an ideal world. But that's not how any kids are really wired, certainly not independent ones!
That's where Taking Aim comes in.
When you take aim, you focus in on one challenge at a time, very specifically. It's quite difficult to change "mornings" or "homework," in general. But when you target a particular challenge, like brushing teeth, or getting started on homework, you can actually DO something about that!
And you can see progress. And even better – your kids can see progress, too. Success leads to buy-in, which leads to more success!
Once you take aim, you can follow the next steps in the model (step 2: collecting information; step 3: planning, etc.) and devise specific strategies to improve the situation. (The ADHD Parent Manual is a 25 minute video that walks you through how to use the model. If you're new to ImpactParents, it's a terrific, quick video training that you can learn to use immediate results. Nothing to remember, really – easy to use right away. And again, if you want to really learn the method, check out The Essential Guide.)
Anyway, the more specifically you "Take Aim" to tackle challenging or frustrating behaviors, the better your results will be!
And the best part is that this method works for parents AND kids! You can teach kids how to think about gradual improvements for themselves by taking aim. Not sure how? Read “5 Steps to Settle Family Politics” to see how it works in real life.