“Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
What do successful actors, athletes and executives have in common? The best of them use coaches to help them perform at their best. Coaching is a great way to take control of how you're living your life. And when you use a coach approach as a parent, you can help your complex kids reach their full potential.
What Is Coaching?
The term coaching comes from the word stagecoach. At its core, it's is about helping people get from where they are to where they want to go. Whether privately or in a group, coaching empowers people to increase their self-awareness, engage in conscious decision making, take focused action, and create accountability to measure progress.
It's hard to argue the value of having a someone on your side who is all about encouraging you to reach for your dreams, and guiding you to do it deliberately. That, alone, is a powerful motivator to create lasting change.
Here are six universal Core Coaching Concepts that can help you shift your approach to parenting complex kids (drum-roll, please):
Never underestimate the value of taking a break, a pause, or a breather, whether it's deep breathing, counting to 10, or walking away before reacting. "Pause" has the power to re-direct and diffuse even the most difficult circumstances.
Change is more likely to happen once you clearly look at some aspect of your life, get to know it, and learn to accept what you can. Then, when you see what you want to be different – even visualize what change might look like – you'll find you're more than half-way to success.
Changing perspectives leads to different possibilities. In fact, it's almost impossible to make sustainable change in your life without changing your underlying thoughts or perspective. The best part: you have complete control over your perspective and can change it at any time. One example is the power of the three words: Up Until Now. If you want to change your perspective on a situation, simply adding ”up until now” – and beginning to believe it – can re-direct almost any situation toward a new outcome.
We all have little voices in our head – also known as Gremlins or Saboteurs – that are constantly telling us that we're not good enough, can't do it, aren't worthy, or shouldn't take any action to create change. They create mischief in our heads. But though they're loud, we don't have to give them our power. Instead we can tune in to our inner sage, listen our instincts, and trust what we know is best for our kids.
Each one of us is a creative, resourceful human being worthy of love, respect, and forgiveness. We need compassion from ourselves more than anyone! We are not broken in need of fixing, and neither are our kids – though most of us naturally feel that way. What if you accepted that everything is okay, just the way it is? That you can handle whatever comes your way, and will slowly but surely guide your child to become a successful adult? It's empowering to see ourselves – and our kids – as perfectly human.
Every moment of every day, you are making choices, even when you think you have no choice. For example, I don't have to do the dishes, but I choose to have a clean kitchen because it benefits me in other ways. When you recognize the choices you are making, and begin to take responsibility for them – that is freedom.
Change Starts Here
So that's it. When you pay attention to any or all of these 6 concepts, things will begin to shift and change in your life. You almost can't help yourself.
Sure, it helps to have the support of a community or a coach to keep you actively on track. That's why we hope you'll join any of our programs at Impact – because we know that there's power in connection and support:
- Dive in for transformation with Sanity School® parent training followed by group coaching in the Sanity & Success program. It's a combination of coaching, community and learning!
- Explore current programs and upcoming events with ImpactParents like our 4 week parent groups.
If you take nothing more than these concepts from your visit to our website, then we're confident you've spent your time here well.
Of course, ImpactParents offers thousands of other little bits of wisdom that surface in the world of coaching, and we hope you'll come back for more. It's up to you. After all, you are At Choice.