In addition to problems with attention and hyperactivity, ADHD may affect your daughter socially and emotionally.

• The rapid “give and take” of group interactions may often prove difficult for her.
• She may act shy or feel socially “out of it” except with one best friend (if she has one).
• Life for these girls can be an emotional roller coaster.
• She can be stubborn, angry, defiant and rebellious.
• She can be hyper-reactive, as well as hyperemotional.
• Her low frustration tolerance and disorganization can lead to a great deal of stress for herself and others.
• A hypersensitivity to criticism from you and/or others may develop.
• She may demonstrate a desire to conform to teacher expectations and not draw attention to herself. However, her distractibility or forgetfulness may result in teacher disapproval, embarrassment and humiliation in front of her classmates and friends.
• Difficulty with attention and disorganization may affect her ability to follow directions or follow through on assignments or to do her chores.

As a consequence of these issues, she may be given less responsibility at home or underachieve academically. You may find yourself taking over many of her responsibilities in order to keep her organized and on track. Or, you may simply give up, allowing her to fail, further eroding her competence and self-esteem. How can you strike a balance and help your daughter succeed?

So, how can you help? Here are five things you can do:

Learning about her ADHD and what she can do about it is a critical first step in the process of living successfully with the condition.  There are now books for girls with ADHD. These include my book, “Attention, Girls! A Guide to Learn All about Your ADHD” for ages 7 to 12 years; “Get Ready for Jetty: My Journal about ADHD and Me”  by Jeanne Kraus featuring a 4^th grader with ADHD; and “The Girls’ Guide to ADHD” by Beth Walker for older (middle school) girls.

Girls with ADHD often feel that they are “not good at anything.” They tend to give up easily and may have difficulty developing their skills or focusing on their talents. By helping your daughter discover her strengths and establish an “island” or activity where she feels competent, you can help build her self-concept as well as improve self-esteem. By recognizing and praising her for her effort, not just her accomplishments, you will encourage her to attempt new activities and boost her self-confidence.

Work with your daughter to develop strategies and use tools to keep her organized and on track. This includes setting up schedules and routines in the morning (ways to wake up and get going independently each morning), after school (homework), and bedtime. Girls should also participate in school meetings (particularly 504 sessions) that discuss strategies and classroom adaptations to ensure academic success. In addition, it’s never too early to work with your daughter on learning to problem-solve, and how to ask for help when she needs it — two skills that will be critical to her success.