Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Parenting with Impact, the podcast! I’m so excited today to invite and welcome my colleague and friend, Stephanie Pitts. I’m so glad to have you here, and I’m thrilled to have this conversation. We've known Stephanie for many years now. She’s an educational therapist with a master’s degree in education and a certificate in educational therapy. She’s also trained as an academic coach.

Stephanie works closely with kids, providing expert support in one-on-one sessions. She’s highly skilled at interpreting test results, conducting informal assessments, and addressing remedial reading. If you’ve got a child in the LA area who’s struggling, you’ll definitely want to connect with Stephanie. She’ll guide you through the tactical, structural support that many kids need.

While there’s a behavioral and emotional aspect of parenting, there are also practical things we can do to support our kids—and that’s where Stephanie really shines. We first met her years ago when she came to us in Atlanta for our first professional training for the Sanity School certification program. This program was designed to train, certify, and license professionals to bring the Sanity School into their communities. Stephanie joined us for that training, and we've been best friends ever since.

Thank you so much for being here with us, Stephanie!

Stephanie Pitts: Thank you.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Tell everybody a little bit about what you do with families of complex kids and how you came to do this work.

Stephanie Pitts: So I was a teacher, and I was then working with a family traveling the world and teaching the kids while we traveled.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Okay. Wait a minute. You were working as a teacher with a family traveling the world?

Stephanie Pitts: Yes.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: That sounds like the best teaching gig ever.

Stephanie Pitts: It was. I really enjoyed it. I ended up helping raise those kids, and several of them needed educational therapy. I hadn’t heard of the profession before, but when an educational therapist came in to work with the kids, I thought, "Wait a minute, I can do that." In many ways, I was already doing it. So, I decided to get certified and opened my own practice.

What I like to say is that I work one-on-one with students or learners, helping them learn how to learn and understand who they are as learners. This involves teaching them skills and strategies, and really working on building their self-confidence. Often, by the time they come to me, they no longer enjoy learning.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: It's been beaten out of them.

Stephanie Pitts: You’ve got to love learning. We want lifelong learners. A lot of what we do isn’t just about academics, but it also helps family life. There are many kids who have big fights about homework, as you know, and all the family dynamics involved. As educational therapists, one of the things we do is help kids know where to start, how to start, and when to start.

A lot of them don’t know what they don’t know. When you don’t know how to begin something, you tend to avoid it, and that causes fights. The homework battles happen because it feels like too much. They’re overwhelmed, they don’t understand what’s being asked of them, and they never quite understood what they were supposed to do to answer the question.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Or where to start.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah, helping them break all that down really boosts their self-confidence. Then parents say, "Oh, we’re not having fights about homework anymore. Things are so much better. My kid is starting to love school again," and all those things. So, that’s basically what I do.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I have two questions. First, what age are the kids?

Stephanie Pitts: Kindergarten all the way up through adults. We even work with adults in grad school.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Really?

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: And what's the difference between educational therapy and a learning specialist?

Stephanie Pitts: A learning specialist is someone who might have varying degrees of training but isn’t formally trained as an educational therapist. To become an educational therapist, we have to go through an internship and be accepted. There are two separate entities that essentially certify us as educational therapists.

One of them is the Association of Educational Therapists. How many times can I say “educational therapy”? (laughs) So, that’s one of the main differences. Many learning specialists are people who have varying levels of training, especially in different reading techniques and similar areas. So, becoming an educational therapist is really one step further.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Got it. To actually be certified as an educational therapist.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: And is it covered by insurance?

Stephanie Pitts: No.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. Welcome to our world. All the best modalities are covered by insurance.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah. Insurance covers mental health and all that kind of stuff, but it doesn’t cover academics. Anything related to education isn’t covered by insurance, unfortunately, so that’s a big roadblock for a lot of people.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. I understand and feel your pain. It’s so frustrating because you want these families to get help, but sometimes the help they need isn’t necessarily the help their insurance covers. And just because it’s a medical condition doesn’t mean all the treatments for it are going to be medical or come from the medical realm.

Stephanie Pitts: Exactly, because there are a lot of kids who need help, and many of them don’t fit the traditional mold, as we all know. In school, there are so many kids for whom the system just doesn’t work, and outside support is really needed.

Unfortunately, many kids can’t access that support for a variety of reasons. This is one of the reasons my co-host, Rachel Kapp, and I started a podcast—to help parents who don’t have access to educational therapy learn some of the strategies we teach and talk about.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Well, that’s a great segue. So, let’s talk a little bit about what you want parents of complex kids to understand better about their kids. What are they missing that could help them have a better impact?

Stephanie Pitts: The first thing is, I honestly believe that when kids can do well, they will.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yes, so true.

Stephanie Pitts: And no kid wants to be the failure at school. So the reason that they become the class clowns or they become the kids that just don't turn in homework or don't do anything or they rebel or whatever label.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: The ones with the backpacks with paper falling all over the place.

Stephanie Pitts: Exactly. Like the stereotypical behaviors, it’s because it’s hard, and you really have to start asking the question, "Why is it hard?" The child might not be able to answer, but it could be a number of things, like ADHD, as we know, or things like auditory processing disorder, where they’re not hearing and processing enough.

Or they could have slow processing, and everything is going too fast at school, and they can’t keep up. So it’s important to dig deeper into what’s really going on and figure out how we can help remediate the issue and help the child understand what they need. You can’t ask for help unless you know what you need.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I want to interrupt you for a second. Let’s go back, because you’re saying we should first start with the assumption that there’s a reason for the behavior. So let’s start by assuming that the child needs help with something they’re struggling with.

First, you go to that step and say, "Okay, there’s a problem here, and it’s not that the child is the problem. The child is having a problem." Oh, we can help them with that.

Stephanie Pitts: Yes, exactly. So it could be anything from you have an older child that is struggling with comprehension or reading fluency. Their reading is not up to where it should be. And we look at kids that are in middle school or high school, and they're reading these novels and have to answer these essay questions that are not even questions. It's a paragraph. 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Prompt.

Stephanie Pitts: The prompt doesn't ever have a question. How do you turn a prompt into a question? Those things are not usually taught, or if they are, some of these kids are just missing them because other things are going on.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Oftentimes, because these kids are challenged, what's happening is when that was taught, they weren't ready to learn it yet.

Stephanie Pitts: 100%. I mean, there are a number of reasons. They might have auditory processing issues, for instance, and it’s not processing correctly. So you’re really looking at where the deficiencies are, where the gaps are. How can we fill in these gaps and help the child be the best they can be?

What I like to say about educational therapy is that we teach kids how to hold themselves up because we shouldn’t be holding them up. You’re not going to college with your child.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Ideally, no. I’m hearing stories these days of parents calling their kids' employers and corporations. The goal here is to set them up for independence.

Stephanie Pitts: Exactly. There are a lot of different things to consider. The social-emotional aspects of learning are often forgotten, but they’re just as important as the actual “two plus two equals four.” So really breaking it down and seeing what the child needs and how we can best teach to their needs is really what I do.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Let's break those two apart. So first, you say, okay, the kid's struggling. We can help with that. The next step is to then get really clear on in what ways might this kid be struggling. And there may be a diagnosis of some variety.

Stephanie Pitts: May not be.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: May not be. Maybe some other emotional issues, therapeutic issues, school issues, reading issues, processing issues, there's lots of ways that a kid could be struggling. Though you're the investigator that helps figure out what's behind it, what's underneath the struggle.

Stephanie Pitts: And the other thing that we do as educational therapists is we're usually the team member that talks to all the other team members and really gets a sense from the teacher from the parent, from a therapist of any type to literally a medical doctor.

We're the ones that are communicating all of this and really get the full picture of what's going on. Other people on the team tend to get a slice of the pie, and we're trying to get the whole pie to make sense and help the whole child.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Okay, so in the old days, that might have been a social worker. And in the modern world, when we're looking at a kid's educational, social, emotional, and educational learning, the educational therapist can step in and more micro way and look at what's happening with that child as a developing human.

Stephanie Pitts: Exactly. And I think one of the things that helps is being an outside person and not the parent when talking to the teacher. We have really good relationships with the teachers because we can speak professionally and get a clear sense of what’s going on. We’re not emotionally invested in the situation the way a parent-teacher conversation might be.

So, we’re really looking at how we can support the teacher and the child in the classroom. What does that look like? What can we do on our end to help everybody? This is why this profession is such a great fit for me because that’s what I love to do—how can I support everyone? What does success look like? What are the breakthrough moments we can achieve?

Sometimes, a little shortcut or a small change can make all the difference for some of these kids.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So give an example. What's one little shortcut that have a really profound effect for some kids? I know that this is not universal to all kids.

Stephanie Pitts: No, not universal to all kids. Well, okay. I'm just thinking off the top of my head. One of the things that comes up a lot and we don't really think about is having an extra set of textbooks.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yes. It's so simple one, isn't it?

Stephanie Pitts: It really is, and that’s the one that just popped into my head because you can get them off of Amazon. I know they’re expensive, but you can get them. Taking the burden off your child of having to remember which books to bring home every day is huge. Just say, "Leave your books at school," unless it’s a novel that you need to annotate.

But the textbooks, just leave them at school. One less thing for them to worry about, and that frees up more brain space to focus on the things that are harder. Kids only have so much "gas" in their tank, so let’s not use it on things like remembering textbooks if we don’t need to. If they have enough energy for it, fine, but many kids don’t, so that’s a really small change that can make a big difference.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: But it has this huge cascading impact. And that’s even changing now because so many kids are using online textbooks now.

Stephanie Pitts: That’s true, which is fantastic in some ways and hard in others. But that’s a whole other story. I was working with a kid the other day, and we needed to work on some grammar and language concepts. I use a lot of games. You and I have had conversations about how not every kid loves games, but many kids do.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I would say not every kid loves competition, but all kids love games.

Stephanie Pitts: I have probably four or five hundred games. I love them. The kids walk in, and that’s the buy-in right there. Even the older kids, the high schoolers, will say, "I loved that game as a kid," and things like that.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I want... [inaudible]

Stephanie Pitts: Exactly. But unfortunately, sometimes you have to do a worksheet, which is not fun and not my first choice, but sometimes it’s necessary. But how can you make it fun? Instead of having her just write the answers, I gave her colored highlighters and said, "Let’s do it a different way."

She thought it was so fun. She actually asked, "Do you have another one?" And I thought, oh my gosh, is this the same kid who used to look at me like, “I don’t want to do this”? She was playing with the colors, learning at the same time, and getting to highlight things, which is fun. Who doesn’t like highlighting stuff?

It just changed everything for her. When she walked out, she had this big smile on her face, talking to her mom about what she learned and how fun it was. And that’s the goal.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So let’s make this really real. I want parents to really hear what Stephanie is saying. Fun is not only okay, fun is good. When kids can play and think they’re playing, that’s the dream. That’s it.

Stephanie Pitts: It really is. That's everything, and they love it. And they don't even know that they're practicing the skills, and that's what you want because then all of a sudden, they go, oh, I know how to do that because they've been practicing it, not because I've thrown a bunch of things in front of them, make sure I do it over and over and over again, all the different things. It works.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So what do you say to parents who say yeah, but they're going to have to learn to be serious? They're going to have to learn to be because they can't play all the way through, and they're going to have to be serious because I hear that.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah, I think some of that is age-dependent. I know a lot of parents want to teach their kids grit because it’s important. However, there are going to be times in their lives when they have to do things they don’t want to do, and they’re going to have to push through. Whatever that looks like, I prefer they push through in a way that’s comfortable for them. If you know how to get through it, you’re more likely to do so in a way that’s more comfortable for you.

You’re also more likely to succeed, rather than it becoming a burden. So, if you’re teaching your child that you can have fun while doing things, that doesn’t mean you’re being silly. Those are two separate things. You can still have fun. I still have fun when I’m teaching kids. Does that mean I’m a goofy person all the time? No. Sometimes I am, but not all the time.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Right. Appropriately so.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah, exactly. So, I think it’s really important to know the difference and teach your kids when things are appropriate. You can’t be goofing off and having fun if you’re at a funeral, for example. But if you’re doing something you need to get through for school, work, or just chores at home, how can we make it fun, or make it a competition, or make it something that really gets the buy-in from the kid? Because if you don’t, they’re never going to do it, and that’s a bigger problem.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: But you’ve heard me tell this story, and it’s just begging to come out here. You said not at a funeral. This happened right after a funeral. We were at the house. My kids were probably between 11 and 17. I needed them to go to the grocery store so that the adults could talk. It was right after we had a death in the family.

My eldest kid paused for a moment, looked around at the siblings, and said, “Okay, everybody, superheroes to the grocery store.” They put on capes and leggings with boxers over the leggings. They all went, and they made this mundane trip to the grocery store fun. Did they look ridiculous? Absolutely. But did it get them to the grocery store with good cheer? Yeah. So why not? Just because they’re 17? Should they really be too old for that?

Stephanie Pitts: No. That's not inappropriate at all, especially if your eldest is the one getting the other kids involved, and they're going to look back and remember that and think, oh, when something is really feeling heavy, and we don't want to do it, how can we make it fun?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. It's one of the greatest life lessons you can teach kids is how can I make this fun enough to find the motivation to do it?

Stephanie Pitts: 100%. And there's lots of things we all have to do as adults that we don't want to do. Listen, I don't want to put my clothes away. But if I reward myself with watching something or getting to do something after with my clean clothes, I'm an adult, and I still struggle with it. And I have no shame putting it out there because I hate it. But finding ways to get it done? It helps.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: And so part of what you do is you help kids find a way to get it done in a way that works for them.

Stephanie Pitts: Hm-hmm.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Love it.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Especially post-COVID. We work with kids all over the country now. And it's just so amazing to hear from parents how much their lives have changed. And I know that that's the same thing through coaching, that you guys get this feeling and reaction from the parents and from any of the clients that you work with that, oh, my gosh, if I had only known, but let's look forward.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. We can't beat ourselves up for what we didn't know. We can only say that when we know better and we move forward.

Stephanie Pitts: 100%. And you end, and I remind parents, you did the best you could with the information you had at the time, and don't worry so far in advance. That's the other thing I always say.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. Fearing forward is the term for it that I like to use.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah, that's a good one.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Or the dark version of it is, let's not bleed before we're cut.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah, seriously. And not worried about an 11-year-old going to college. Let's not worry there.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I actually had a real coaching conversation with a mom of a 12-year-old who was freaking out about potato chips on the floor. And we finally figured out it's because she was afraid she wouldn't take care of her apartment at 24 because she also had a 24-year-old.

And so then if we were able to sort of take that catastrophizing out of it, she could be present to let's help the 12-year-old clean up the potato chips on the floor. Stay where we are.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah, exactly. But it's so true. And we forget, but that's what's the beauty of having somebody in your life like you or an educational therapist to help break it down and say, okay, let's really look at what's going on and how can we help the kid?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So great segue for me because, believe it or not, we're starting to run low on time. How can people find you and get in touch with you?

Stephanie Pitts: So people can find me two ways. My practice is called myedtherapist, www.myedtherapist.com, and on all the ways of social, myedtherapist. And the other way is through my podcast.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Amazing podcast.

Stephanie Pitts: Thank you.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Which inspired us in our podcast, I will say.

Stephanie Pitts: You've been on several times. It's called learn smarter. The educational therapy podcast that I co-host with Rachel Kapp, and it's on all the things as well. So I like to tell people, check all those things out. There's something that's going to resonate with you. And if I can help in any way, reach out to me. I'm here.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. And so accessible and so available, and so wise in the work that you do.

Stephanie Pitts: Thank you.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So is there anything else you want to share with our listeners today or something you hope parents will take away from today?

Stephanie Pitts: I hope that parents take away that things can get better. They really can. And just figuring out first why things are hard and then figuring out how to make it better is something that we all do in this profession. It's similar. How can we help? How can we make things better, and they will get better?

It's a marathon; it's not a sprint. So if you can keep that in mind, you will get there.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: And where did you get that? Marathon, not a sprint. Love that. So we like to ask our guests at the end of every show. Do you have a favorite quote or motto that you'd like to share?

Stephanie Pitts: I was thinking about this, and I feel like I said some of my mottos already.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: That's okay. You can repeat it. 

Stephanie Pitts: I think that the one thing that I just I constantly say to parents is let's teach our kids how to hold themselves up, and I find myself repeating that over and over and over again.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Teach our kids how to hold themselves up. Great.

Stephanie Pitts: That's we'll walk away with.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I think that's a perfect thought to close the show. So, Steph, thanks for being here with me. It was really fun.

Stephanie Pitts: Thanks for having me. It was so good to see you.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: When Rachel's back, we'll have you both again.

Stephanie Pitts: Yeah, that'd be so fun.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: But I didn't want to miss this chance to have this conversation.

Stephanie Pitts: I agree.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Our guest has been Stephanie Pitts. Myedtherapist.com, is that right?

Stephanie Pitts: Yep.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: And the podcast again is?

Stephanie Pitts: Learn Smarter, the educational therapy podcast.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Awesome. And I want to thank you for being here. I also want to thank all of you tuning in and listening. Remember that what you’re doing for your kids and for yourself makes a difference. So, thanks for being here, everyone.