Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of the Parenting with Impact podcast. I’m here today with Jesse LeBeau, who is often described as a motivational speaker for kids. 

That might be the best way to capture the fabulous positive energy you’re about to experience. So, Jesse, welcome! It's great to have you here.

Jesse LeBeau: Hey, it’s so good to see you! Technology is amazing, isn’t it? We can be anywhere in the world and still find a way to connect. It’s pretty incredible to be alive in 2024.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: It really is. You can already hear that positivity! Now, for those of you who aren’t watching this on YouTube, you might not see that Jesse is tuning in from what looks like an RV somewhere out west. 

He’s heading out to inspire a bunch of kids in schools out there, and he’s found some good Wi-Fi for this conversation. Thank you again for being here.

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, it’s always interesting—you never know where you’re going to end up.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: That’s so true. So, let’s start with this: you probably didn’t expect to end up here. So, let’s take a look at what brought you to this point. How did you get to doing this amazing work? You've been doing it for over a decade, right?

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, I didn’t plan on doing anything like this my whole life. I grew up on a small island in Alaska and took a boat to school every day. It was a very unique childhood. 

At the time, I didn’t realize how unusual it was—I thought this was just normal, that everyone did this. But as I got older, I realized not everyone takes a boat to school or lives in a town with only one road going in each direction. But I did have one big love, and that was basketball. That was my big dream. 

The only problem, though, was that I was the smallest kid by far—smaller than all the other kids. I was bullied for it. So, when I would share my big basketball dreams, people would shoot them down and tell me I had no chance. Very early on, I felt isolated and lonely. I just remember not liking the direction my life was heading. 

Finally, I made a decision: I said, “Hey, I’m going to become the master of my own attitude, and I’m going to decide what I want to do with my life.” That one little decision completely changed everything. 

I ended up playing basketball, going to college, and even playing professional streetball with the streetball legends I had watched on TV—guys like Allen Iverson and a lot of my NBA heroes. 

I believe it all comes back to that one decision I made in 7th grade at Shombar Middle School, to not be a victim and to take 100% ownership of every area of my life. That decision led me down this path, and I kind of pivoted from there.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Hang on, before you go down this path, let’s stay here for a minute because so many things come to mind. I grew up in the 70s, so I was a fan of Spud Webb.

Jesse LeBeau: Yes.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: You’re probably shocked that I’m making a sports reference, but I actually remember Spud Webb, who I think was one of the shortest players in NBA history, right? He played for the Atlanta team—I can’t remember which one. But there was this possibility that a very short guy could play basketball. 

So, in 7th grade, you had to somehow convince yourself that you could do what you wanted to do, even if the odds were against you. What was that shift for you?

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, it was definitely a shift, but it wasn’t something that felt profound at the time. A part of it was wanting to prove people wrong—like a little chip on my shoulder. But I credit a lot of it to my parents, who believed in me. They told me, “If that’s what you want to do, then you can do it, but you’re going to have to work really hard.” And that was the key element. 

That’s true for anything in life when it comes to building confidence, which is so critical for a young person’s development. You can’t just give a kid confidence. They have to earn it by accumulating small wins. So, that’s how it started for me. It began with things like working on my left-hand dribbling, improving my shooting, making the team, starting on the team, becoming captain, and then getting a scholarship. 

All of those things compound over time, incrementally. Yeah, it happened only because I put in the work. I failed a lot more than I succeeded in any area of my life. But that’s one of the things we really emphasize with parents and kids today: part of the process is failing, and you’re going to fall—but that’s okay. 

In fact, the people who succeed at the highest levels are often the ones who’ve failed the most. So, leaning into that early on was important for me. And, as I said, much credit to my parents for being there and supporting me. They weren’t perfect by any means, but they were always there, always pushing me in the things I loved.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So, what I’m hearing is a few things. One is incremental progress, right? We often say that the solutions are in the successes. 

You have to keep trying things, but there’s also failing forward—learning from mistakes, moving forward, and not letting mistakes be something to avoid, but something to learn from.

Jesse LeBeau: I love that.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: That’s something I’m really hearing. The other thing I’m hearing is the idea of “racking up the small wins.” But also, I really want to highlight something for the parents in our community. You mentioned how your parents said, “Yeah, you can do this. We believe in you. 

We believe you can do this, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work.” The key here wasn’t “I don’t think you can do it, but if you try,” it was “I believe you can, but it’s going to take some effort, and we’ll help you figure out how.” In our audience, we often have parents dealing with kids who have complex issues, and sometimes the feeling is that they just need to work harder. 

But sometimes it’s not about working harder, it’s about working smarter. Like learning to dribble with your left hand when you can’t dribble at all. Can you speak to that a little bit? Because in our audience, there’s often a collapse around the idea of just working harder, when sometimes it’s not always that.

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, that’s a great point. I think it’s so important to keep in mind that some things in life just come more naturally to certain people, while others find them more difficult. I have a friend who is literally the best-looking guy you’ve ever seen. He’s tall, an incredible basketball player—every area of life seems to come easily for him. 

And then there’s me, working so hard just to be half as good at a lot of things. But I think the key is shifting your focus and finding your strengths—the things you’re passionate about—and helping your teen do the same as a parent. Don’t force them into something just because it’s what you want for them. 

I see that mistake with parents so often—they try to make their kids an extension of their own dreams. For example, they were the great hockey player or the captain of the cheer team, so they want their kids to do the same. But sometimes kids have totally different interests and don’t want to do anything like that, yet they don’t want to disappoint you. So I would say: lean into their strengths and help them find those things they love. 

For me, putting in 10,000 hours dribbling and shooting a basketball never felt like work because I loved it. It was the thing that lit me up. I found a way to make it fun, too. If you can find a way to make something fun, that’s key. 

For me, it was music. I’d get up at 5 AM, cross over in the boat, and head to school. Larry, our janitor, would open up the gym for me every day. Sometimes I used a big MP3 player to play music, and eventually, there was a sound system I figured out how to use. I’d be jumping around, bopping around, and having fun while I was doing it. It never felt like work. So, if you can make the journey fun, that’s the key. The thing I learned as a kid, and still as an adult, is that it’s all about the journey and what you learn along the way as you make progress. So, for parents, I’d say: find the things your kids enjoy, have them try different things, and then help them make it fun. That way, it won’t feel like a painful experience every day.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: What I love about that message—and your whole message—is that very often, in our community with complex kids, these kids are typically creative, outside the box, and they’re looking at the world through a different lens. They want to be basketball players, baseball players, artists, or actors. 

And very often, the parents see the obstacles. They see, “Well, they want to work in video games, right? They want to do something in that realm.” And the parents see it as too hard, or the obstacles are too great, or they don’t see how it’s really possible to make a living doing that. 

So, they want their kids to take a more traditional path because they think it’ll be easier for them. So, what comes up when you hear that?

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, I see that all the time. And I think a lot of times, the people who love you the most can sometimes give you the worst advice. Not because they don’t love you, but because they don’t want to see you fail. They love you so much that they’re trying to protect you from those risks. 

But my big message for parents listening right now would be this: your job is to prepare your child for the road ahead. It’s not to run ahead of them and prepare the road for them, but to prepare them for that road. 

And so many people, even as adults, still do things because they don’t want to let their parents down or be judged. I see that all the time. So, I’ll give you a quick personal story. After I finished college basketball, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I moved back in with my mom, and I got a job working on a commercial fishing boat.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Okay.

 

Jesse LeBeau: I was horrible at fishing. I didn’t know the ropes, I got seasick, and the captain didn’t like me. But I wrote down on a 3x5 card, “I want to be in a movie, I want to be in a commercial, I want to be in a TV show.” I talked to my mom about it, and I said, “I have three options. 

I can go sell carpets in Orange County, I can go play basketball in Hungary and not make much money, or I could go try to be in basketball commercials in LA.” 

And my mom said, “Every time you talk about this LA basketball commercial thing, you light up. You get excited. You’ve saved up some money working on this fishing boat, so why don’t you just go for it? Just go and see what happens. 

If it all fails, you can come back, have your room back, and it won’t be the end of the world. You’re young—why not go for it?”

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Beautiful.

Jesse LeBeau: I credit that moment because three months later, I was doing my very first commercial with Kobe Bryant, putting on his shoes and taking on his powers. I wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t had a mom who said, “Go for it.” 

My dad totally didn’t understand it—he was a logger. My mom was a school teacher. He said, “I don’t know,” but if your mom says, “Go ahead, go for it,” even if she doesn’t fully understand it, she can see the passion or see something that your kid can go after. 

They’re young, they can try it—it’s not the end of the world. And that changed my life in a major way. So, that would be my encouragement to parents as well.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: That’s beautiful. Alright, we’re going to take a quick break, and then we’ll be back.

Jesse LeBeau: Perfect.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Welcome back, everybody. My guest is Jesse LeBeau, and he is a motivational and inspirational speaker for young people, specifically middle school and high school kids. 

We’ve been talking about the impact in his life of having a mom who believed he could pursue things and try things, even if what he wanted to achieve seemed crazy. One of the things you said that really stood out is that you decided, “I’m going to become the master of my own attitude.” 

So, I’d love for you to talk about that shift that happened for you in 7th grade. Then we can talk a little bit about underdog stories, but let’s go there first, if that’s okay.

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah. Since I know you’re a big sports talk fan, I’m going to go back into sports here. Miss Spud Webb.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. Because I think the basketball team in Atlanta is the Falcons. And I know that’s not correct.

Jesse LeBeau: I didn’t say anything. I think it sounds great. So, my dad imparted to me at a young age the power of your attitude. We would go watch local sports games of kids a little older than me, whether it was little league baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. 

We didn’t focus on what the players did when they hit the home run or made the game-winning shot. We paid attention to what they did when the ball didn’t bounce their way—when they struck out, overthrew the base, or dropped the game-winning pass. 

We looked at how they reacted in those moments. Did they blame the umpire or referee? Did they yell at their teammates? Did they fail to hustle for the next play? And that really showed us if they were going to be successful in the bigger game, which is life. Because very few people will go on to play pro sports. That lesson had a profound effect on my life. 

I learned we can’t always control what happens to us. And unfortunately, just like in sports, life sometimes throws things our way that aren’t fair and are out of our control. But the question is, what are you going to do now? If you can choose to become the master of your own attitude, like we were saying, I can promise you’re going to live a happier, more successful, and more fulfilled life. 

That’s one of the biggest messages I try to impart to kids when I go speak. You’ll see it on the phone, on the computer, and even on the side of the bus—Attitude is everything. And I really believe that with all my heart.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: That's beautiful. Yeah. I often say you can't control what happens, but you can control how you respond to what happens.

 

Jesse LeBeau: So powerful.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Right? And that’s really what I’m hearing—that the perspective we take is a choice. But for a lot of people who are feeling beaten down, who are getting bullied, or who face obstacles and struggle with life and learning, it doesn’t feel like it’s a choice for them. 

And I know you do a lot of work around the notion of the underdog. So, how do you speak differently to kids who are really struggling more than the typical kid—kids who are having a hard time?

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah. Isn’t that amazing? We all have a unique underdog story, I would say. I haven’t met a person who doesn’t consider themselves an underdog. They could come from a billionaire family. Yeah. What about you? Do you consider yourself an underdog?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Wow. I have to think about that. Have I had adversity in my life? Sure. Have I had challenges? I’m not sure I would see myself as an underdog, but I definitely fight for the underdog. That’s my realm, too. 

I’ve always taken a stand for those who I thought needed extra advocacy, extra support, extra whatever. Interesting perspective.

Jesse LeBeau: Were you popular in school? Did you play on any sports teams?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: No.

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah. What about in your career? Early on, what did you do?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I was a political activist, fighting for the underdog.

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah. And that's hard to do when you don’t have tons of money from a family or a big platform like you're building here. So, I can already see three or four ways that you could be an underdog.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: It’s an interesting perspective.

Jesse LeBeau: So everyone’s a victim. But I haven’t met a person that I can look at and say, “You don’t have an underdog story.” It could be anything. It could be, like you said, you weren’t popular in school, or you didn’t have a lot of friends, or maybe you didn’t know how to connect with others. 

It’s funny, in this day and age, where we’re so connected through the internet and social media, I’ve never seen more people who feel disconnected and lonely. And your original question was about—wait, I got excited about the underdog there. What was your question?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Just this notion that some people don’t feel like it’s a choice to choose a positive attitude.

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah. Well, I would argue that it’s the one thing you do have a choice about. And similar to the quote you mentioned—things work out best for those who make the best out of how things work out.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Love that.

Jesse LeBeau: Right? And so when it comes to the underdog thing, we all have different experiences and backgrounds. Like you said, I don’t know. I see people who are in more need and facing more adversity, and I want to stand up for them and be a voice for the voiceless. 

So it’s funny, in today’s world, the adversity a kid might face could be that they have slow Wi-Fi or they don’t have enough followers, because it’s just a different time.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Right.

Jesse LeBeau: We grew up in. But the hardest thing they know is the hardest thing they know, and they might be self-harming or having an eating disorder because they’re comparing themselves to the other girls they see on TikTok and how skinny they are, if that’s even what they look like after filters and everything. 

So I think of that as finding empathy, because I guarantee no matter what your situation is, we can find someone out there who would give anything to be able to trade spots with you.

So my underdog story isn’t that crazy. I have a lot of contemporaries in this space who have lost an arm in the military or were born without legs and went through much crazier things. But for me, it was something that made me feel lonely. 

It made me feel not good enough, and I had to make that choice. So, big or small, young or old, whatever it is that you’re going through, I would just encourage you to know that you’re not alone.

I talk to so many parents, especially moms, and they come on and share what’s happening with their children, and they get so emotional, and it’s such a heartfelt thing. So if you’re someone who is going through something difficult, my little encouragement to you would be to know that you’re not alone. 

If you’re listening to this right now, then you’re part of the 1% of the 1% who’s going out of your way to find great resources and people like this to do something positive.

One awesome piece of advice I got from a friend of mine who runs a bunch of schools for autistic kids in Arizona is to take some time for self-care. When you’re dealing with your family, and you have a kid who maybe requires a little bit more attention, it can absolutely wear you out. 

I see so many moms who blame themselves for things going on that are outside their control, and they’re doing the very best they can. 

So offer yourself some grace, give yourself some self-care, and just know that you aren’t alone. There are awesome people like Elaine who offer tons of free resources that you can check out.

So, that would be my little TED talk, standing on my little box right now: make sure to take care of yourself.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I love that. So many of your messages, Jesse, are reinforcing the messages in our community—putting your oxygen mask on first, believing in the possibility instead of only focusing on the challenges and deficits, and taking a strength-based approach. 

There are so many beautiful messages here that are so consistent with the coach approach. So, we're going to begin wrapping up this conversation, but before we do, can you let our audience know how they can find out more about you? 

You don’t need to include the "www"—it’ll all be in the show notes. But where can they learn more about you?

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, theattitudeadvantage.com/welcome. It’s the best place—one stop for everything, all of our programs, and everything you could need.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: And part of what you do are programs for teens, and you also do public speaking for teens at schools and organizations around the country. Is that correct?

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, live events—middle schools, high schools, youth conferences—and then our teen program where we work with both parents and teens. We also have a school program for SEL (Social Emotional Learning) curriculum.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Beautiful. Fabulous. So as we wrap up this conversation, is there anything we haven’t talked about that you think we should address? Or is there something we’ve discussed that you really want to emphasize? How would you like to wrap up this conversation?

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah, there are so many things, right? It’s so complex—the choice of words is hard, but it’s not just about being a kid, it’s about being a parent today. But I think one of the biggest things you can do is figure out systems for managing technology, especially the phone. 

That’s one of the biggest pieces of feedback I’m hearing from parents every week—the way that the phone, social media, and the internet are completely changing their kids’ relationships with family and with friends at school. I don’t think anyone alive has the self-discipline to resist the technology created by some of the biggest companies in the world. 

So, you need to set systems in place to monitor how much time you allow and what you’re going to give access to. Otherwise, it’s just an endless scroll of the most attractive, fun things that you could spend your time on. I see kids wasting their entire lives watching what other people—whom they don’t even know—are pretending to do, and it breaks my heart. So putting...

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Other people they don’t know are pretending to do.

Jesse LeBeau: Yeah.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Well, the caution to parents hearing that is that, yes, we want to put limitations on technology, but we want to do it collaboratively, constructively, and in conversation and relationship with our kids. 

It’s all about empowering them to believe in what they can do and guiding them to create the space in their lives to do that.

Jesse LeBeau: But also being the parent. Because if you just let them do whatever they want, feeling empowered, they’ll be eating ice cream and candy like toddlers and running around. 

That’s the difficult balancing act for a parent, right? How much independence do I let them foster, and how much should I step in? You can see both extremes not ending well. So walking that tightrope as a parent is tricky.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. What guidance do you have, as we close this conversation, for parents about how to have some of these tricky conversations? Because kids aren’t going to be jumping up saying, "Sure, limit me here."

Jesse LeBeau: I don’t want to watch Netflix, have Snapchat, and do the most exciting things in the world. And my one little golden nugget that I've learned from doing this is that the most powerful thing you can do is start with yourself and lead by example. I was at a school years ago, and I remember a poster that said, "Everywhere you go, evangelize the gospel, and when necessary, use words." 

That was so powerful because it really is the truth. When it comes to your kids, they are watching, mirroring, and modeling everything that you're doing. So, don’t go and say, "Hey, you can’t be on the phone and do all these things," and then you yourself are on the phone all the time. It doesn’t matter what you say—it’s going to go in one ear and out the other. 

They’re going to watch what you actually do. So that old adage of "Do as I say, not as I do"—well, that doesn’t work. You need to live it in your own life, take that time to become the best version of yourself, and that will make all the difference.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I love that. Beautiful. Thank you, Jesse, for being here and for this beautiful message you're bringing to kids all over the world. It's important, so thank you.

Jesse LeBeau: Thanks for having me. I love what you do. This is awesome.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Thank you. I appreciate that. We love what we do too, and we get to have fabulous conversations like this, so it’s great. To those of you listening, thank you for what you're doing for yourself and for your kids. 

Take a minute for yourself before we wrap up this conversation and ask yourself: What's an insight you're taking away from this conversation you just listened to with Jesse? What are you aware of? What’s your "Aha"? What's the gem that you're going to pull from this conversation and carry forward with you into your life? And maybe, is there an action you want to take as a result of that insight? Is there a conversation you want to have? 

A message you want to convey? What are you taking away from this conversation, and what do you want to do with it? As always, thanks for what you're doing for yourself and for your kids. At the end of the day, you make a huge difference. Take care, everybody. Bye.