Does your child seem overwhelmed by emotions, easily affected by others, or more sensitive than their peers? It may not be a problem to fix, but a difference to understand. In this episode, Dr. Judith Orloff explains the difference between empathy, empaths, and highly sensitive kids and examines how these traits shape behavior, overwhelm, and emotional responses. Press play to learn practical ways to support your child with self-regulation, boundaries, and confidence so they can feel understood and in control.

What to expect in this episode:

• The difference between empathy and being an empath or highly sensitive person
• How sensory overload can lead to overwhelm, shutdown, or big reactions
• Why neurodivergent and sensitive kids tend to absorb emotions from others
• Why sensitive traits should be supported, not “trained out” of children
• Simple self-regulation tools like alone time, boundaries, and calming environments

Sensitive Kids and Big Emotions: What Parents Need to Know with Dr. Judith Orloff

About Dr. Judith Orloff

Judith Orloff, MD, is a New York Times bestselling author, a psychiatrist, and an empath. She is the author of the new children’s book The Highly Sensitive Rabbit, about a caring cottontail who is shamed for her sensitivities but then learns to embrace them. Dr. Orloff’s other books include The Genius of Empathy, The Empath’s Survival Guide, and Thriving as an Empath. Dr. Orloff also specializes in treating highly sensitive people in her medical practice. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, the New York Times, and USA Today. Explore more at www.drjudithorloff.com.

Connect with Dr. Judith Orloff

• Website: Dr. Judith Orloff
• Book: The Highly Sensitive Rabbit | The Highly Sensitive Teen

Related Links:

• EP211: From Chaos to Calm: Building Sleep Routines for Sensory-Sensitive Kids

• EP238: Rick Green on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: What is It & How to Manage It?

• EP225: The Connection Between Complex Kids, Gender & Sensory Issues

Connect with ImpactParents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Our Discussion

Dr. Judith Orloff
I’m a psychiatrist. I got my training at USC Medical School and UCLA residency and the VA residency. So I was brought up in a very traditional psychiatric model. In addition to that, I’ve expanded into other models as well. One of them is that I’m an empath, and I use my empathic abilities, my intuition, and my sensitivities in my practice with patients as well as traditional psychiatric skills. So I combine both of them, and they go together beautifully. I train other healthcare practitioners on how to do this as well. It’s kind of taking healthcare another step, which I’m very happy about, to open up healthcare practitioners and patients and give them what they need. If intuition is called for, they’re trained in intuition. If traditional training is called for, they’re trained in that. So I combine all of that together. Both my parents were physicians, and I had 25 physicians in my family, so I had a very logical, linear background. There were a lot of researchers.

And so they didn’t really incorporate or support me in my empathic or intuitive abilities, and that’s why I wanted to write The Highly Sensitive Rabbit to help little kids and young empaths come into their own empathic abilities without shame, without the shame that I experienced. I was told eventually, “Never mention another one of your intuitions or anything like that again at home,” so I wasn’t allowed to talk about it, which created a sense of shame.

 

Diane Dempster
Well, I guess that’s kind of the question I wanna talk about because being sensitive and being an empath and being intuitive, people use those words in different ways. Can you talk a little bit about the distinction between being sensitive versus being empathic versus being intuitive?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
There’s a kind of empath called an intuitive empath, and I write about this in The Empath’s Survival Guide in terms of types of empaths. An intuitive empath tends to approach the world from a more intuitive point of view, and they get gut feelings about people or situations. They have flashes or knowings, or their body’s energy responds. It might go up around certain people, it might go down around certain people. They might also remember their dreams, which is a form of intuition. These are people who gravitate in that direction, as opposed to a physical empath, which is somebody who feels the world with their body and may somaticize and take on the symptoms of other people. Each empath has a different propensity for where they’re going and what they want to develop. They might develop in a way that’s different from their natural tendency. There’s an intuitive empath, and you can also be intuitive without being an empath.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
What I’m hearing is that there’s a kind of holistic quality to your practice of bringing your psychiatric work into a more modern world. You said you started with very traditional training and added this other approach. The term you used that really struck me is that people can be trained in intuition. Can you talk about that a little bit?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Yes. A lot of people want to be trained in intuition because they go through traditional programs that are very linear, logical, and rational, and they come out exhausted. They want to develop a different kind of perception in their body, which is their intuition. For those who want to develop it, I have courses on becoming an intuitive healer on my site, and I have a book, Guide to Intuitive Healing, which outlines the five steps to developing intuition. These include listening to your gut, noticing energy changes, observing which people you gravitate toward, noticing what your body does around people you don’t like, paying attention to dreams, and opening up your energy fields. It’s about connecting people with their body because the body is a very strong intuitive receptor.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I was just gonna say, and hold your thought if you can, Diane, what I was thinking was that, bringing this to the parenting community, a lot of our complex kids are probably very tuned in to their body, their awareness, their empathy, and their intuitiveness. In some ways, the world kind of trains it out of them. And so I imagine that must be one of the things we parents of complex kids are struggling with, that our kids may have more of this tendency than we might be comfortable with. Is that fair?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Oh, I think they train it out of them, definitely, because most school systems aren’t in touch with what it means to be an empath. And that’s part of my mission here in writing this book and working with kids and highly sensitive parents, to bring it back again, not to drain it out of them, but to bring it in so they’re proud of their intuition, they’re proud of their open hearts, they’re proud of their love of animals, they’re proud of wanting to walk in the forest and not do video games, they’re proud of wanting to meditate or be alone and have their alone time. They want to learn how to develop those skills. In The Highly Sensitive Rabbit, I gave them self-care techniques such as, “When I feel overwhelmed, I need to take alone time.” Even something simple like that. And how important it is to set boundaries in their world, to say what they want and what they don’t want. To be able to use those self-care techniques, and when you’re feeling upset, to find somebody you like who understands you to talk with. It’s very simple, and we can all remember this as adults, but I wanted to write it in a children’s book so they could say, “Oh, I could do this.” And then you can talk with the mother, the grandmother, whoever is reading the book with them, about how to do it, especially when it’s hard at school, and when not to do it, because not everyone is open.

 

Diane Dempster
Well, it feels like there’s really three different things we’re talking about and merging together. We’ve got kids who are empathic, where they feel what other people are feeling or sense the room, the animals, or the environment. They’re sensing something beyond just themselves. Then you’ve got intuition, which might be more self-focused, like learning to trust your gut, paying attention to what your body is telling you, and figuring out direction and decisions. And then there’s intuitive empathy, where you might get messages about other people or through dreams or other experiences. Some people may not feel comfortable with that part, but they may relate to trusting their gut and managing what they’re feeling from others. So the tool you gave, noticing when you’re overwhelmed and checking whether it’s coming from within or from the environment, and then taking alone time to navigate it, feels really helpful. Is that a fair summary?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Very nice, very nice. And you can train a child to do that. Whenever they have questions, if you can be a safe place they can go to, to ask those questions, you can even play games with it. You can say, “Go into your room and see if you feel better and then tell me about it. What did you notice? How did that feel?” They might want to share, or they might play with their animals or look out the window and just stare into space, which is really important for calming the brain. Or they may have imaginary friends that they talk to, so don’t be too concerned if that happens. It’s a phase, and it’s a beautiful thing. These sensitive kids are so creative and imaginative, and they need to honor what they’re feeling. As you said earlier, the world often drives it out of them, but these abilities are what make them whole.

 

Diane Dempster
Well, I don’t think it’s necessary so much that we drill it out of them. I think that a lot of us as parents, because if we don’t lean in that direction, we don’t recognize it. It’s kind of like if you happen to be an adult who is colorblind, you are going to explain the world to your child in a very different way than if you are not. So if a child has a gift of sensitivity, part of what I want to talk about after the break is how we as parents really help our kids identify what’s going on and foster that growth, which is the direction I think you were heading.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Beautiful.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah, definitely. Our guest is Dr. Judith Orloff, and we’ve been talking about empaths and intuition and intuitive empaths and how that connects with sensitive kids. A lot of us are hearing more and more about the term “highly sensitive person,” or HSP. I know you’ve written a children’s book and books about empathy. We’ve been hearing more about this in recent years, so before we go into what Diane just brought up, let’s identify what we mean by a highly sensitive person.

 

Diane Dempster
Yeah, that is a whole other terminology. Judith, what is a highly sensitive person and how does it fit into the framework we’ve been talking about?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
A highly sensitive person is somebody who has very intense sensory reactions to the world. There may be too much light, too much sound, too much talking. Smells can feel overwhelming. A tag on a sweater might feel unbearable. They may not like noise or being around a lot of people and may need quiet.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
And it might be some, but not all of those, right? These are different examples of sensory experiences that people may have.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Right, and these are all common to highly sensitive people, but they might not be empaths. Empaths have an absorptive capacity where they take in the stress of others or the environment. As Diane mentioned, you can go into a shopping mall feeling fine and leave feeling overwhelmed, disoriented, or even with physical discomfort you didn’t have before. The empathic child absorbs energy, and that’s something you really have to understand.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I used to call my son a sponge.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Right.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
It felt like he would just absorb the energy in the room. If it was positive, it could be fun, but if it wasn’t, it could amplify whatever was happening.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Exactly. And part of teaching highly sensitive kids is helping them learn not to absorb the stress of the world. It’s not healthy, even though it comes from their loving and giving nature. They want to help and heal, but it becomes too much. That’s where the role of the parent comes in. And even if this is the first time a parent is hearing about this, that’s OK. You start where you are. Just understanding it can already help your child.

 

Diane Dempster
So Judith, when I think about the title of your book and describing a sensitive child as a rabbit, sometimes these kids show up like quiet rabbits, but sometimes, if they don’t know how to process what’s happening, they can be reactive. They may have big emotional outbursts, anger, or dysregulation. So when we say sensitive, it doesn’t always mean quiet. There are many expressions of it. Part of what may be happening with a highly reactive child is not just their personality but also their sensitivity to their environment, family dynamics, or experiences throughout the day. Is that fair?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
It is. In The Highly Sensitive Rabbit, Aurora is the sensitive rabbit. She cries, she has big emotions, and her brothers call her a crybaby. She cares deeply, even about the coyotes during a storm, while the other rabbits are focused on themselves. She has strong emotions, and part of her journey is learning how to self-regulate. That’s one of the main messages of the book. Highly sensitive kids can become overwhelmed, and that can lead to tantrums, loud expressions, or emotional outbursts. As parents, it’s important to recognize the early signs of overwhelm and help the child transition into a calm environment. That might mean going to their room, dimming the lights, using soothing colors, and allowing them to self-regulate without excessive stimulation.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
You know, I’m sitting here listening to you and I’m having a moment. I’m having some empathy for myself as a child, who was called by my brothers a crybaby, who had big emotions, who cared about the world. You just described me to a T, and I was not in an environment where it was necessarily safe to have those feelings or where those emotions were acceptable. So I’m curious, for the parents who are listening who may be for the first time realizing that the behaviors their kids are exhibiting are actually a reflection of something else, this is neurological, this is happening in their bodies and their brains, what is the first message you want to offer to parents who may be understanding this for the first time?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Be excited. This is important information so you can begin to use it to help your child, and don’t get down on yourself thinking you should have known this earlier. Most people don’t. If it resonates with you, you can begin practicing simple techniques like setting boundaries, taking a breath to self-regulate, and encouraging your child to talk to someone who understands. You don’t want to overtalk it or make it too big of a deal. Just keep it matter-of-fact. Offer it as an option, “you can try this too,” and let the child discover what works for them.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah. Diane, anything else before we start wrapping up?

 

Diane Dempster
As we wrap, I’m thinking about the different reactions parents might have. Some may feel embarrassed or ashamed that they didn’t recognize this sooner and may have judged their child. Others may feel afraid because this is unfamiliar. Anytime something happens that we don’t understand, it can feel unsettling, so I’m thinking about what’s most important to highlight for those different experiences.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
If a parent feels afraid, they should first see if this resonates as truth for them. If it doesn’t feel right or they don’t like it, then they don’t have to pursue it. This is just one way of understanding these kids and helping them. Parents should follow the path where they feel comfortable.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Any thoughts for parents of older kids, especially teenagers?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
With teenagers, even if they identify with being sensitive or empathic, they may not want to admit it or engage with it. At the same time, it’s become very popular on platforms like TikTok, where many young people identify as empaths. Some may truly be, and some may just be following a trend. I’ve also seen that when parents are very enthusiastic about this, teenagers may resist, but often become more open to it in their twenties.

 

Diane Dempster
One last question before we wrap: can you clarify the difference between having empathy and being empathic?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their experience without judgment. For example, if your child is sick and your friends show empathy, you feel cared for and supported. Being an empath includes empathy but also involves an absorptive capacity, where you take on others’ emotions or energy, which can become overwhelming and harder to manage.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
So everyone can have empathy, but not everyone is an empath.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Not everyone.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Narcissists can’t, generally speaking.

 

Diane Dempster
Fair.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I didn’t mean to overstate.

 

Diane Dempster
I’m thinking about a child who has very big emotions around other people’s feelings, and the distinction between strong empathy and actually absorbing emotions that don’t belong to them. Part of the work becomes helping them figure out what is theirs and what is not.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
You can begin by noticing how you feel before interacting with someone. If your mood suddenly changes, you feel exhausted, or something shifts while you’re with them, you may be absorbing their energy or being triggered by something similar. Learning to differentiate between those is key.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
You started to talk about narcissists earlier. Can you expand on that?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Narcissists are important to understand because they often attract empathic individuals. They may appear empathetic, but neurologically, they are not wired for true empathy. They can “love bomb” and create a false sense of connection. In some cases, people can improve, especially through programs that build humility and service, but generally, relationships with narcissists can be very painful, especially for empaths. I would strongly discourage those dynamics, particularly when children are involved.

Wow. So that maybe does something. And people who are narcissists and get sober, that helps sometimes because if they’re in a 12-step program, they develop humility and being of service, which is a very important tenet. So, you know, the rare ones do improve. I’ve seen the rare ones improve. But in terms of you being in a relationship with a narcissist, if you have a child, I would highly discourage it. It’s a very painful path to walk on, and that isn’t what we’re talking about today. But if you’re interested in more about this, I wrote about the toxic attraction between empaths and narcissists in The Empath Survival Guide.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Beautiful.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
More information.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah. A fascinating topic. So Judith, this has been fascinating. Thank you. For those of you listening, if you want to find out more about Dr. Judith Orloff, you can find her at drjudithorloff.com. It’ll be in the show notes, with links available to you, or at drjudithorloff.com/the-highly-sensitive-rabbit. Again, it will be in the notes so you can click on it. Highly Sensitive Rabbit was released in October of 2025, and it is a beautiful Judith, do you want to hold it up for people watching? It’s an absolutely beautiful book, beautifully illustrated.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
This is Aurora, who’s the main highly sensitive rabbit, and she’s looking up at the moon, which is something I always did as a child that really kept me together, to look at the moon.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Love that. Beautiful. So thank you. As we circle back to close this conversation, is there anything we didn’t talk about that you want to make sure you mention, or anything we did talk about that you want to highlight before we wrap?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
Well, I think the reason I wrote this book is because it’s for children, and children will inherit the world. Time is moving very quickly, and before long, they will be in positions to do something good on this earth. I wanted them to be in good shape for that. If you are a sensitive young person now and you want to develop some skills, it will make life much easier. When you feel called to be of service, which your heart often draws you toward, you’ll be ready for it and able to take care of the earth. Don’t be afraid of that responsibility, because you are made for it.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Beautiful. I think I needed to hear that today.

 

Diane Dempster
So Judith, the last thing we like to ask all of our guests is, do you have a favorite quote or motto that you want to share with our audience?

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
I always love this quote. It’s by Emily Dickinson: “I am large, I contain multitudes.”

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I love that. I am large, I contain multitudes. That’s beautiful. Judith, thank you. Thank you for bringing this wisdom to this community. Thank you for the heart-centered, empathic way that you move through the world. It’s so important to have medical providers who are able to see the full, holistic nature of human beings. I really want to honor the work that you’re doing and thank you for bringing it to our community.

 

Dr. Judith Orloff
It’s been my pleasure. Thank you for honoring that. That feels good.

 

Diane Dempster
Awesome.

 

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Diane, anything else before we wrap?

 

Diane Dempster
Let’s turn to the audience and ask you, like we always do: what’s one nugget, one aha, one insight you’re taking from today’s conversation with Dr. Orloff?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
What are you aware of now that you weren’t aware of half an hour ago? And how do you want to bring that forward into your week? Is there a conversation you want to have or something you want to approach differently? As always, friends, thank you for what you’re doing for yourself and for your kids. Your engagement, your awareness, you make a difference. Take care, everybody. We’ll see you on the next one.