PARENTING WITH IMPACT PODCAST
How To Stay Grounded When Parenting Young Adults With Dayna Abraham (podcast#246)
Do you ever feel like your needs and your child or young adult’s needs are constantly clashing? In this episode, Dayna Abraham shares how small daily steps, honest conversations, and self-awareness can ease tension and rebuild trust. Listen now to discover one powerful shift that brings more calm, clarity, and connection at home. Download a free tipsheet "Top 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns in Their Tracks" to stop yelling and tantrums from everyone! What to expect in this episode: Amazon Music | iHeart | Spotify | Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | Youtube About Dayna Abraham Related Links: (For Blog Post Only) Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/podcastgift Connect with Impact Parents: Sponsors Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we’ve developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods. Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com Dayna Abraham So I always joke that I was born into what I do. I was born into a family where my older brother was adopted, bipolar, but undiagnosed growing up. I was on the receiving end of a lot of his meltdowns, aggression, and clashes. When I grew up, I decided I wanted to be a teacher, and my favorite kids were the ones that came with paper trails behind them. The other teachers talked about them in the teachers’ lounge, and the parents came with their heads hung on the first day. I taught first grade, and those kids were already known around the school. When I became a parent, I thought, “I am going to be the world’s best parent.” I pictured Ed McMahon showing up with balloons, a big check that said World’s Best Parent, and a parade coming down the street. That did not happen. First of all, it does not happen for anyone, but it definitely did not happen for me. My kid was kicked out of preschool and kindergarten. He was suspended from first grade. By second grade, he was out of school more days than he was in school due to suspensions, expulsions, and all the things. Traditional school settings did not work for him. I left teaching and decided to support him at home while also having a newborn. Around 2013, I started blogging and getting online because I felt completely alone. I felt like everyone else had their stuff together. Everyone else knew what they were doing, and I thought I had to be the only one. I wanted to share with other people that there were people out there like me who did not know what they were doing and were still going to push through and figure it out. That is what led me to where I am today, coaching parents online and helping them create families that work together, building plans that work with their brains instead of against them. Elaine Taylor-Klaus Beautiful. The language you just used that really jumps at me is “I thought I had to be the only one.” That was my experience, and probably Diane’s experience in some ways too. Dayna Abraham Yeah. Differently, right? I hear it all the time. Even now, 13 years later, I still hear, “I thought I was the only one.” “I thought I was by myself.” Diane Dempster It is exaggerated today because back when our kids were growing up, there was not as much focus on social media. Now it is graduation time or awards time, and it is everywhere. It is painful when you have a child whose path looks different. Dayna Abraham Even being where I am now and being a leader in this space, it is still incredibly difficult at graduation time, back-to-school time, and college admissions time. I am raising three very out-of-the-box children, and I do not know if any of them will go to college. So how old are your kids now? I say they level up in the summer. I have one turning 20, one turning 18, and a 12-year-old who just turned 12. Elaine Taylor-Klaus Got it. Yeah. And just to tie into what you all are saying, that very similar experience for me was the sense that these are really bright, capable, smart kids, and traditional school is just sucking the life out of them. So finding a way to be with the milestones. What I have noticed over the years, and I am curious about your thoughts on this, is that as parents, we do the work, right? We practice being present with them. We come to peace and terms with who they are. Then the next milestone hits that is out of sync, and we go back through the process again. Then we go back through it again. It is not like we come to terms with it or accept it once. We have to do it every time something shifts. Dayna Abraham Yeah. I feel like early on we believe we have a whole lot of time. That it will catch up. It will right the course at some point. “Oh, they will be fine.” It is easier to accept then. But as our kids get older, especially nearing that landmark of 18, you start to think, “I am out of time. What am I supposed to do?” I always remind parents I work with, and myself, that the delays, struggles, and challenges my kid had at 5 did not magically disappear. They look different, but they did not magically disappear now that he is 18. If he was 5 years delayed emotionally and socially when he was 8 or 10, he is still 5 years delayed, if not more. Diane Dempster And because that gap has gotten bigger, the gap keeps getting bigger. I think people forget that when we are talking about elementary-age kids. We often say these kids are 3 to 5 years behind their peers, but the research actually says 30%. I was on the phone with a parent of a 27-year-old, and we said, “It could be 10 years.” Potentially as much as 10 years at that age. A 27-year-old might present more like a 17- or 18-year-old in terms of maturity or abilities in some areas. Not always in all of them. Elaine Taylor-Klaus I think what is key here is that all three of us probably cannot stand the term failure to thrive. It does not serve in any way. These kids are late to launch on a traditional basis. They are not launching along the same traditional path that many of their peers are. That is the piece we clash with. Pulling back to your topic of parenting young adults when needs are clashing, the disconnect is between where they are, which is exactly where they are supposed to be, and what we think it should look like. Dayna Abraham Yeah. I think, or maybe what we need it to be. Right. I have told my boys, who are older now, I have said I feel so thankful and grateful that I have built a home that you feel safe in, that you want to talk to me, that you want to be around me. But maybe I have made it a little too safe. I do not know if you are ever leaving. So I am just going to put that out there. I do not pretend to have all the answers. I do not pretend to have this all figured out. I do not foresee when my 20-year-old will leave the house. He is autistic, has ADHD, sensory processing disorder, and high anxiety. It is going to take him a while to get out of this house. So now we are starting to talk about things that are OK. How do we get you your ID? How do we, how do you go grocery shopping with me? He has now taken over all of his laundry. He has taken over all of his cooking, all of those things at the house, but leaving the house still feels like a really big deal for him. So we can talk about that later. But yeah. So the incremental transfer of ownership is what you are, yeah. And so for me, I do not have as many struggles with what I expect versus where he is. I do get into that sometimes, especially when I start seeing the Instagram feed and stuff. But what really brought me to this competing needs is by the time our kids are 18, 20, or 16, we have been doing this as parents for a long time, and especially if our kids are complex, if they are challenging, if they do not fit the mold, we have done all the learning, all the summits, all the information, all the courses. We have gone to the therapies. We have done it all. And we have had the fire hose, and so we have all this knowledge, but that knowledge does not always make it easy. Sometimes it makes it harder because we have the curse of knowledge and we go, we know what my kid needs, but it is the complete opposite of what I need. And so when I think of needs, I am thinking of their emotional needs, their sensory needs, their likes, their dislikes. I am thinking about quite a few different things, and all of us, as humans, have different needs. Some of us like to sit in a quiet space to calm down, and some of us like to put on the music and jam out to get our stress out. And those are two very different needs. And if those are happening at the same time, and now your kid is a young adult, you can get resentful and get really frustrated that your kid is impinging on your space, that they should have left by now. And so we have all of these thoughts in our head of what should have happened. And so that is where I came to this idea of, I feel like a lot of us out there just need this information. Diane Dempster There are two parts of what you are talking about. One is the practical needs. And we do all have different needs. I remember really distinctly one introvert and one extrovert, and they would come home from school and what they needed and what I needed at that time of day. There was a little bit of conflict trying to navigate that. And there is this other piece, which is what I think should be happening at this stage in life. And so, like, you want to talk a little bit about both of those, I am guessing? Elaine Taylor-Klaus Yeah. Yeah. Where do we start? So really what I hear you saying is that, let’s start with the acknowledgement, folks, that we parents do have needs. Right. So let’s talk about that a little bit before we then see about the—gosh—because those needs, we tend to feel as parents, particularly, I love what you were saying, is that when they are younger, we can kind of, we are supposed to give and give and give ourselves away, and then as they hit 18, it is like, “Wait a minute. This is supposed to be my time.” Dayna Abraham I think we have waited for that. And then when it does not happen. So I think that is the biggest thing is awareness is always the first step. For me, it is the first thing that I encourage parents to do is just notice for a week. Notice where you start to feel uncomfortable. Notice where you start yearning for something. Maybe you are yearning for quiet time, you are yearning for a clean countertop, or for the dishes to actually get put away instead of just piled. So just start paying attention to those things that are starting to bother you, or things that soothe you. And the more that you can notice that, then you can start to say, “OK, let me notice what my kid needs, what their preferences are.” And in my book, I talk about something I call the behavior funnel. And the idea is that, you know, there is an iceberg, and we have all heard about the iceberg theory, that what you see on top is just a fraction of what is really going on behind anyone. And so underneath that, how do you determine what those needs are that are under what we are seeing on top, the behaviors? And so the first is basic needs, which is not just food, water, and bathrooming, but it is also shelter, but it is also a sense of safety. So does your kid feel accepted as they are? Do they feel safe to make mistakes, or are they in a constant state of shame, or are they in burnout from the schooling they just went through, the experiences they just went through? And then on the flip side, are you in burnout after serving your kids for the last however many years? Are you in constant fight-or-flight because you were on high alert, always wondering if the school was going to call, and now the school is not calling because your kid is not in school anymore, you know? So that is the first step. Yeah. And then there are more layers, and we can go through that, but that is really where I start, is let’s start really looking at what are these needs so we can kind of put them side by side. Elaine Taylor-Klaus Let’s look at the story we tell ourselves about accepting and acknowledging and understanding our own needs before we get to how do we look at their needs? Dayna Abraham And yet when I ask parents, especially moms, when was the last time you recharged yourself, they can’t remember. They can’t remember the last— I’m not talking about bubble baths, and I’m not talking about spa days. I’m talking about sustainable self-care. Something that you can do every single day that lights you up. Something that you can do that actually feeds you and your energy, even if your kids are still right there beside you. And it’s attending to your own needs: your need for quiet, your need for movement, your need for soft and cozy. One of my clients realized that she is way more regulated when she wears something around her neck, like a cowl or like a little scarf, when she is warm. And so when she drinks warm water and she wears this thing around her neck, it makes it so much easier for her to stay regulated around her kids. And it’s that sort of self-care that I’m talking about. Start paying attention to what are the things that soothe you, the things that help you, the things that will allow you to open your mindset up to look at your kids. Diane Dempster And as you’re saying that, Dayna, the thing that’s coming up for me is how much of this, and the safety piece of it, yes, there’s some tactile sorts of stuff that we want to do for ourselves, and a big part of this is what’s going on between our ears, right? It’s this sort of— a lot of our sense of safety is really about our worry about our kids, our worry for our future. I mean, some of you who are here might be worrying like, “I can’t afford to pay rent for my kid for the rest of their life. I can’t afford…” You know, it’s like this. There may be some financial worries. There may be some, like, “Are they ever going to make it? Are they ever going to be OK on their own?” So there’s a lot of this sort of chronic worry, which may be legit. Let’s not discount that. And so what’s coming up for me is, how do I create some self-care around that and some space around the worry? Dayna Abraham Ooh, I wasn’t planning on sharing this, but can I share a little four-part process for dealing with those thoughts that get in our way and overwhelm us? OK. So I have this process that I do. It’s called GRIT. So G is grounding. And so it’s just bringing yourself into this present moment. What helps you feel safe right now? That could be physical. It could be taking a couple of deep breaths. And then once you’ve gotten grounded, take a couple seconds to do that, then release. This is where you’re going to really identify what are those thoughts coming up. “I’m worried I’m never going to be able to afford this.” “I’m worried he is never going to get out of my house.” “I’m worried he’s not going to be able to take care of himself.” “I’m worried, what if I die?” Like, who’s going to take care of him when I’m no longer here? So you write those down. And then do something physical to release those. And if it is a real legitimate worry, sometimes there are things that you can affect today, right? So let’s say the worry is, “Is he going to be able to take care of himself?” Is there anything I can do today to affect that? Maybe, OK, I might be able to teach him some skills. So that might be a legitimate worry. Or, “Is he ever going to get married?” Although I can’t really affect that. There’s not a whole lot I can do with that. So I’m definitely ready to release that one today. And so you can write it on paper, crumple it up, you can throw it over your shoulder, you can wipe it off. You can do any sort of physical movement to release that. And sometimes when we’re doing this exercise, I say it’s OK to not release it forever. You don’t have to release all of it yet. Just say, “Today, I don’t need this.” “Here’s what I’m going to set down in the parking lot today.” And once you release, now you’re ready to invite something in. You’ve made space for a new thought. You’ve made space for a new idea. So what can you invite in that can help you with this big worry you were having? And so let’s just take the “He’s not going to be able to take care of himself if something happens to me.” Dayna Abraham What can I invite in? Well, I can invite in some possibility. I can invite in creativity. I can invite in some skill building. I can invite in some curiosity, idea ideation. Like maybe I’ll just brainstorm some things, or maybe I’ll start paying attention to the things that he’s already doing, because maybe I’ve been ignoring the things that he’s already doing on his own. So I’m going to invite that in. Once I’ve done that, the final step is super important. We don’t want to just live in our head. The final part is to take action. And so that take action has to be something so, so tiny. And it might just be going to your kid and saying, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about how I go to the grocery store every week and I buy you groceries. And I’ve been thinking it might be really cool if I give you a little budget and you go with me. You buy your groceries. What do you think about that? Would you want to come with me to the grocery store?” So your tiny next step was just to have a conversation. Elaine Taylor-Klaus And with young adults, it’s often the next step is a conversation. Diane Dempster Well, and what you’re talking about is this taking action, and it’s something small. I think a lot of times as parents, we do get stuck on the skill part of this. And this is the place I want to invite us to, because yes, your kid may need to learn the skill of buying their own groceries. And a lot of us get stuck in, “OK, here’s the 17 things that they’re not doing yet, and I have to be focused on that.” The piece before that is really creating the relationship and the connection with your kid so that you can collaborate. And so I was on the phone with this mom the other day, and she’s like, “But I’m not doing anything.” I’m like, “Yes, you are,” because every day you’re having fun with your kid and you’re talking to your kid and you’re creating a relationship with this kid so that when there’s space to learn a skill, you can step into that in a very different way than, “Oh, here’s mom telling me one more thing to do again.” Dayna Abraham Yes. I watched Demon Slayer the other day on Netflix with my 20-year-old, because I knew, I was like, “I really don’t think I’m going to like this, bud.” He’s like, “Well, how do you know if you’ve never seen it?” I’m like, “I just have an idea. I’m not going to like it.” But I knew that sitting with him and watching that movie was going to build that relationship. He was going to see that I’m interested in what he’s doing, and he was going to be more receptive, thank you, receptive. Wording doesn’t word all the time. OK. More receptive when I did bring something up like, “Hey, I know your birthday’s coming up, and I’ve been thinking about making sure you have a state ID and making sure that, you know, I know that your peers might be working full time right now or going to school right now. So we might want to look into the steps of what disability looks like at your age.” And he was totally open to all of that. And I think part of it is that the relationship has to be first. Elaine Taylor-Klaus So here’s what’s jumping up as I’m listening to both of you in this. I love GRIT. And as you were describing grounding in that present moment, what helps you feel safe, I was thinking about somebody who was teaching me the first steps in the vagus nerve relaxation, right? How do you get your central nervous system down-regulated to be able to be present? And this goes back to why are we talking about you, the parent, when the kid’s the one who’s not whatever. And that’s because your ability to be present, to be calm, to be down-regulated, is absolutely critical to the conversations you want to have, the skills you want to teach, the action you want to take. So I really want to highlight the importance of that grounding present moment, down-regulating, whatever your language is. You teach it your way, we teach it our way, everybody teaches it their way. It doesn’t matter what it is, but to pay attention that it’s about helping make sure that we ourselves are available. Elaine Taylor-Klaus And feel safe in the process of being in this collaborative relationship with our kids. And then I love release, invite, take action. And again, I do want to say for people that taking action with young adults is very, very often about the conversation you want to be having with them that you’re having in your own head. And how do you get yourself to have a conversation that’s constructive and collaborative instead of directive and controlling, where they react and defend? Diane Dempster Well, and to loop us back to the conversation about clashing needs, one of the tools that I love is transparency. And so, Dayna, maybe talk about this. It’s like part of being able to navigate clashing needs is being able to say to your kid, “Hey, I know that the best time to catch you to talk is at 11 o’clock at night because you’re a night owl, and I’m really exhausted. Can we maybe move it to 10:30?” It’s like this sort of, can we find, being transparent and saying, “Hey, this is what’s going on for me.” Dayna Abraham Yeah. Absolutely. That’s the perfect way. And I teach this to parents of littles and parents of teens. And they think they’re not doing anything. But I’m like, the first step in teaching is just you talking out what you are actually doing. And so you saying, “Oh, I notice that my heart is racing. I’m going to go step over there and take some breaths for a minute.” Or, “I notice that…” You know, what Dan Siegel calls mindsight. So you’re just talking out what is happening in your own body so they can start to notice. Then you can start to say things like, “Oh, I notice that you’re getting a little snippy. You’re starting to—when I say something—and it makes me think that you might be taking what I’m saying, or maybe I’m saying something and it’s not coming across the way I want it to.” So I’m going to take a pause right now. And so it does start with that noticing and that transparency, like you’re saying. “Hey, you have this need.” Like my son, he stays up late and he watches or plays his games because that’s when a lot of his friends are online. And so I’ll say, “Look, I know that’s when you’re up, but the rest of the house is sleeping because we wake up really early.” And so if that’s going to happen, I really need you to wear your headphones. I really need you to try to get your food before we all go to bed, if possible. Make sure you turn off all the lights. This wasn’t all in one conversation, but there are certain things we’ve worked through to say, “We have a need to sleep at night, and you sleep during the day.” And so we have these opposite schedules. How can we make our opposite schedules work together? Elaine Taylor-Klaus That’s a great segue. We’ve been talking about our needs, and now we’re kind of segueing into their needs. And I think there are probably a lot of parents hearing this going, “But I don’t want them to sleep all day, and that doesn’t work with our family.” And what you’re identifying is that may be the need that this kid has at this time in this circumstance. So can you talk a little bit about—let’s shift this conversation to how do we acknowledge and recognize what their needs are versus their wants, if you will? Dayna Abraham Yeah. So it’s hard. It’s really hard, especially if you were raised in a family where you go to college, you get a job, you get married, and you have a happy life. And many of us were taught that that’s the cycle. And I think we can all see that many of us in our 40s or 50s might not feel like that path necessarily worked out. One hundred percent. And so I think just realizing, like, what is your belief about how things should go versus what is actually something that is a need that needs to happen. Like your child needs to know how to take care of themselves. They need to be able to bathe. They need to be able to feed themselves. They need to be able to take care of their clothes. And they need to be able to eventually make a living in some way so that they can pay for things. They need to be able to recognize their wants and needs. They need to be able to speak up for themselves. They need to be able to advocate at a doctor’s office or with someone who’s not treating them well. They need to be able to communicate. And so if we look at the skills that we absolutely know every human needs just to survive, I start there. I’m like, what does my kid need to be able to survive? Not what does my kid need to be like a CEO someday. Because the truth is, he may never be a CEO. But I’m always seeding with him. I’m like, “Oh, I remember those classes you took last year, and you were making those pins.” He was making these wooden pins from a block of wood that started out like a rectangle, and he whittled it down to a wooden pin. It looks like something you would buy at a store for like $200. And I was like, “Remember when you made those, and it was so fun for you?” And he was like, “Oh, I did kind of like that.” I was like, “I’m wondering if maybe we can find some more classes like that.” And I know before you were afraid of doing in-person workshops or you were afraid of doing craft fairs and things like that because of all the people. “What have you sold online?” Like, what if we worked on that? And it opened up his eyes to, Oh, there might be possibilities. But last year—two years ago—he wasn’t ready for that yet. And so I think there just has to be a place where there is going to be a lot of tension there, especially at first, and especially if you and your partner don’t have the same beliefs here. I always tell people this is not a forever plan. Like, I do not intend on my child always sleeping during the day and being awake at night. I do not intend on my child always living in my house. My 18-year-old is planning to move out six months after he graduates. So I haven’t done all my kids a disservice. I’m just like, OK, they’re not all going to stay with me forever. But I know that this is the plan he needs right now to feel safe. And the way that I have proof of that is he now comes and joins us in the kitchen, and he talks to us about his day and what he’s interested in. He sits on the couch with his brother and sister and asks them about their day. He is starting to ask my husband about his day and what he did at work today. He was in a relationship that was incredibly unhealthy, and he came to me and said, “Mom, I think I need to leave this relationship. I don’t feel safe.” Those were his words. And I said, “OK, can you tell me why you don’t feel safe?” And the things he said to me were like, yeah, buddy, that’s not a healthy relationship. And he goes, “OK, I think I just need to tell her that she’s wonderful, but that I need to take some time for myself.” And I’m like, “I think that’s a great thing to do.” And this is a kid who really struggled with relationships. This is a kid who really struggled to recognize his own needs. Those are the small moments that are telling me he’s going to be OK. It’s just going to be on a different timeline. Diane Dempster I know that there are parents who are listening who want to rewind this conversation and go back and get your list of needs. And the thing I want to remind us all about is that, yes, that was a really brilliant and great list of needs. And what you said afterward, which is that this is about finding a timeline that works for them and not trying to do it all at once. I mean, you can do it all, but you can’t do it all at once, is what we always say. But to find when are they ready for what. And what you just described was, like, when they’re ready to navigate ending a relationship, be there with them and help them figure out how to do that. And not worry about the 17 social skills that they need to have in order to be ready for that moment. But step into the moment when it comes, is what I’m hearing. Dayna Abraham I always say we don’t want to teach our kids to jump rope when they’re standing on the edge of a cliff. And so we want to make sure that we get them off the cliff first and to safe landing. And then we can hand them a jump rope and be like, “Here, let’s explore this. Let’s try this. Let’s see what this is like.” But when they’re standing on the edge of that cliff, that’s just not the moment to do that. And I think when we’re talking about young adults navigating the end of high school into college or what goes beyond, then they’re already so close to the edge of that cliff that we just need to be really cautious of what things we might be saying or doing. We’re that one place that can be safe for them. Elaine Taylor-Klaus And what really strikes me about what you’re saying, and we need to start wrapping this conversation, is the topic is when needs are clashing. And what I hear underneath that, if we look at the iceberg, is to recognize that all the needs are legitimate. They’re real needs. We have needs. They have needs. And when we, like Diane was saying, really lean into relationship and build the relationship, we create a safe space for everybody to get their needs met, which is very different from how fast are we moving on this timeline, which is a very different conversation. And you do your work, we all do work, on how do you incrementally begin to shift that and get them ready. The foundation that I’m hearing really loud and clear is, for us as parents, to recognize that our needs matter, and their needs are real. And they matter too. Dayna Abraham Is that yes. And we may not understand them. Yeah. Like their needs may not make sense to us yet. But if we continue to stay open, and we continue to stay curious, and not blaming, shaming, and thinking, “Well, they’re doing this on purpose, and I know they could if they—” you know—“I know they should be able to do this,” but if we can stay in that place of, “OK, this must be really hard for them. I wonder why.” Elaine Taylor-Klaus Yeah. So as we wrap this conversation, I want to say, for those of you listening, if you want to find out more about Dayna’s work, you can go to https://calmthechaosbook.com, and we’ll have that in the show notes. And as we wrap this conversation, first of all, Dayna, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for this beautiful work that you bring to the world and the transparency that you bring. It’s really lovely, delicious. And then the beautiful part of this summit, Dayna, is we do a little debrief afterward, where we give parents a chance to think about what they took away from this conversation. OK. Because this is a prerecorded interview, I want to guide parents in the first moment to just take a moment to ask yourself: What are you taking away from this? What’s your insight from this conversation? What’s your awareness now that you might not have had 30 minutes ago? And maybe, is there some action you want to take? Is there some way you want to go into GRIT and move through that process to take action as you bring this forward into your world? Elaine Taylor-Klaus Anything else, Diane, before we close this conversation? Diane Dempster No. Dayna, just thank you so much for being here with us and sharing your message with our audience today. Dayna Abraham Well, I appreciate it. It’s such an honor to be here. And for anyone that’s listening, just give yourself grace. Yeah. You’re doing what you’re doing. If you’re here listening to this, then I know that it hasn’t been an easy road for you. And I watched my mom, for her whole life, wonder if she did something wrong, if she was a bad mom. And I just need you to know, you’re doing everything you possibly can just by being here and listening. You are not failing, and your kid’s not broken either. So you’ve got this. Absolutely. Download a free tipsheet "Top 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns in Their Tracks" to stop yelling and tantrums from everyone!
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Minimize Meltdowns!
How To Stay Grounded When Parenting Young Adults
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Dayna is the bestselling author of Calm the Chaos: A Fail-Proof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids. A National Board Certified educator and parent of three neurodivergent children, Dayna also lives with ADHD herself, giving her a deeply personal and practical perspective on raising kids in today’s world. Through her compassionate Calm the Chaos framework, she has guided millions of parents worldwide to move beyond traditional strategies, find peace at home, and connect with their children in meaningful, lasting ways.
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