Cindy Goldrich
Like you, I've been doing parent coaching for years, and my parents would come back and say, "This really works. Things are calmer; things are great." But I go into the school and I tell the teacher, "This is what's going on; it's really working." And teachers don't know what teachers don't know. I have a warm spot in my heart for teachers—my daughter is actually an elementary special ed teacher; she co-wrote my second book with me. This is not about teachers; teachers care so much. I mean, it's not the highest-paid profession in the world: there's so much stress, everything else. But many people are surprised to know that, especially gen-ed teachers, are not given any extra training about ADHD. You guys know, as I do, we weren't even talking about executive function when we were first trained back in the… you know, whatever year we first went through an ADHD training. It didn't even exist, so we know so much, but the teachers don't necessarily know. And one of the big things I always say is: experience is not knowledge. There are a lot of teachers who have experience with kids with ADHD; they may even have ADHD themselves or their own child does—but that doesn't mean that they have the knowledge of understanding the neurobiology of ADHD, executive function, and how it all impacts learning, motivation, behavior, and the family system, as you guys know well.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
And so I really want to reiterate what you're saying. Go back just a half-beat, because I think—and I know this was like, when I started out, we assumed that teachers have this information. We assume teachers are educated, that the school counselors are educated, that the school environment understands this. And the truth is that, to your point, it's not that they don't want to be helpful; it's not part of their foundational education for general-education teachers and, to some extent, for special-ed teachers.

Diane Dempster
I was in a teaching situation with a group of teachers, and the special-ed teachers said they had maybe a half an hour—twice—around this sort of stuff.

Cindy Goldrich
It was tough, I can tell you that. When my daughter graduated—she has a master's degree and has been teaching now for over 10 years as a special-ed teacher—she sat in on my full-day professional teacher training and said, "Man, I'm learning all this stuff!" And she majored in special ed. Ten years ago, even then, and still today, special-ed teachers often don't know this material—and their gen-ed colleagues lean on them. That's a double whammy. They're so grateful for this knowledge. But as I always say, these kids live in the gen-ed classroom. Most people with ADHD may have special-education accommodations or spend time in a resource room, but the majority of their education happens in the mainstream classroom. Right? So that's the teacher who needs to understand all of this.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
So the gen-ed teacher gets virtually no education, the special-ed teacher gets minimal education, and the gen-ed teacher is leaning on the special-ed teacher. Parents start by leaning on every teacher, and in my experience—I suspect you'll echo this—you, as a parent doing the work, become better educated than all of them. Then you have to figure out how to educate them in a very delicate way so it's comfortable for them. Is that fair?

Diane Dempster
Two more variables before we let you loose on this, Cindy. One, ADHD is so variable—one person's ADHD is one flavor, another's is a different flavor. People still carry stereotypes about what ADHD does or doesn't look like, and when you add autism or other neurodivergence to the mix, it gets even more complex. And two, as Elaine alluded to, the science moves fast. At the annual ADHD conference, we learn brand-new research that won't make it into the DSM for 20 years, let alone into teacher training programs devised decades ago. So that's a recipe for challenge—and an opportunity.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
And an opportunity for us to come in and change that.

Cindy Goldrich
I just want to say one very timely thing, Diane, about what you said, which is so important. Research, research, research, research. What many people don't realize is that without adequate research on the impact of certain training techniques—on what works and what doesn't work with kids with neurodiversity—is so important, because think of the trickle-down that exists, right? How are we going to prepare the next generation of teachers if we haven't been nimble enough to learn?
So I actually sat in… I'm very involved in policy now. I'm getting more and more involved because I'm just so passionate about it. I'll just say it right now: could you imagine if every school district had an ADHD specialist? It doesn't mean that has to be their only job, but if you had a trained specialist in every district—so that when new teachers come on board, or when people need a refresher, or when they have that particularly challenging kid who's really struggling—you had that person. But think about the trickle-down that's necessary. We need to fund some research so we could be more efficient and mindful about what's necessary.
I was in on the Council for Exceptional Children. It's a huge, wonderful organization I belong to, and I'm on the policy committee. We would talk about what we need to be asking for, what we need to be doing so that we can filter it down to help the students.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
So many directions, and I love the policy lens because part of what we know about practice is that it takes innovation and practice to become research and then to become an established process. A lot of what's happened in the last 20 years since we've been doing this work is that we now understand executive function in a way we didn't 20 years ago. We understand the connection between that and ADHD. There's all this information, and it takes 15 to 20 years for it to get into practice—which is really what you're talking about from a policy perspective. Yeah. So, practically speaking, there's this long-term agenda of changing the way school systems use this information—and the people listening are here right now.

Cindy Goldrich
So what do we do for them?

Diane Dempster
So what do we do? Well, I have two parts of what we can do for them. One is: is there something they can do to support on the policy front? Let's wrap that, then let's talk about the reality of having a kid in school right now.

Cindy Goldrich
So that we can maximize our time together, I'll give you the short-term, easy answer, which is: email me. I'll send you links and articles about things you could do. My email address is cindy@ptscoaching.com—we'll put that in the show notes.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I'm gonna let you do it, but here's what I'm saying: give us the links and we'll put them in the show notes—absolutely.

Cindy Goldrich
There are things you can do now, but the bigger issue for people here—who want to help their kids now, and for teachers who want to help kids now—is ADHD, Executive Function, and Behavior in the Classroom. Not to plug my book, but to plug the book over there. There are simple strategies, such as making it normal for kids who need to move to move, but giving them boundaries and appropriate language around it so it works for them. You can't have kids bouncing off the walls or jumping everywhere. We know that, but we can teach the whole class—not just spotlight those kids—cuz we all have times when we need to move. I'm on a swivel chair; I don't have ADHD, but I like to move sometimes.
So we want to teach the whole class: OK, this is what "fidgety" means, and this is why some people benefit from fidgeting at certain times. Here are ways you can fidget, but you can't be distracting or destructive. If you have trouble making that work for you, let's have a private, appropriate conversation, and we'll make it work.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Right. So what I'm hearing is that we want to normalize for everybody that, with this one example of movement—fidgets or whatever it is—to make sure it's not disruptive for the classroom. And there are a lot of ways that that can be done. The term that's coming up that I want to ask you to speak to is the notion of universal design, because this is one example and there are a million of them, right? Mm-hmm. So let's talk—let's pull back and say what you're describing is if it works for our complex kids, it's going to work for everybody.

Cindy Goldrich
Exactly. So talk a little bit about universal design and what that means. Sure. Well, universal design is basically saying let's create an environment where it's going to work for the majority of people, right? Where we don't have to have special, different things for everybody, but we all have access to it. I go back to—do you remember Rick LaVoy, the baseball coach? He's got a bunch of those stories, but one he always told was—leading to that—fair does not mean equal. Fair means giving everyone what they need. An example he gave was if you shovel the walkway so that the kid in a wheelchair can get in, that means everyone can get in; we don't have to worry about steps, because the majority of kids go up the steps. You want to create an environment where people get what they need, even if it means it's different.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
And I want to just plug—because it's such an important concept—what you just said: families deal with this a lot when we've got one kid who needs some challenge or accommodation and another kid in the same family who doesn't, and then one kid saying, "But that's not fair." Based on what you're saying, what I say to parents a lot is exactly this: "You're all going to get your needs met, and you're not going to have the same needs." And so we want to look for how we get the most needs met with the least amount of friction. That's effectively what you're talking about, right? So can you give some other examples of how this might show up in the classroom? Like this ability to move?

Diane Dempster
Well, yeah, that's what I was saying. Is there a short list of classroom adjustments—kind of a short list—that could fit into universal design and specifically support ADHD?

Cindy Goldrich
I understand the need for a list, and there's probably a list I could put together, but in terms of environment, I encourage teachers, after they've done a full-day training with me, to look at their classroom as if they are the child we've been talking about all day. One of the things they notice is, "Wow, I've got so much on the wall. It's really chaotic and overwhelming, and the important things are getting lost," or "This has to be done at different grade levels." For instance, if I color-code things—say, in elementary school, all the science information is green, and all the math information is blue—that helps kids orient themselves. Of course, there'll be overlap—when you teach math, you bring in English concepts—but small changes like that help. It's also about the kids' processing speed. We all process information at different rates—some due to our neurobiology and some due to our stress level at the moment. It's not a one-size-fits-all thing.

In that moment, everything matters. We have to recognize it's not a one-size-fits-all approach. Something simple I tell teachers to do is this: suppose you ask, "Who was the first president of the United States?" Some kids—especially younger ones—will immediately raise their hand. That's often how we identify the "smart" kids. But perhaps another child is thinking through the whole story: "It was George Washington. He crossed the Delaware"—yet hasn't raised a hand. What if we say, "I'm going to give you a few seconds to think about the answer. When I'm ready, I'll ask you to raise your hand"? So you might ask, "Who was the first president?" pause, then: "Now raise your hand if you know." As soon as that first child raises their hand, the rest think, "I'm too late," and freeze. The stress response kicks in—"They already answered." I want to eliminate or reduce that stress in the classroom.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I have to say, when you tell students you'll wait a few seconds before they raise their hands, you'll see the impulsive kids go first once you pause. And that's useful for the teacher to recognize at first—it's fair at first—but then students learn to wait. Yeah. Diane, you were going to add something.

Diane Dempster
What's coming up for me is, to build on this stress piece—because you've mentioned stress twice in the last five minutes—is that many teachers are already doing this, but I want to put in a plug for teaching stress management, stress awareness, nervous-system awareness, and building those practices into the daily routine: relaxation techniques and so on. We're not just teaching math and English, we're teaching that you're human and you might be overwhelmed today.

Cindy Goldrich
I'll give you a quick example. I was a consultant in a New Jersey district for years. I visited a third-grade class where the teacher began each day with five minutes of standing yoga—no mats needed—then went around the circle with each student sharing something they were grateful for. She said on the days she skipped it—because they had an assembly, for example—students were "off" the rest of the day. Teachers worry they don't have time, but it's money in the bank: those minutes reduce stress—stress!—enough that there are fewer off-task behaviors and more time to teach the curriculum.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
And when you reduce the stress, and this is what we're not saying, but the process is that when you reduce the stress, you actually improve and increase a kid's receptivity to learn. Yes. And kids stressed out. They're not actually available to learning. And that's this connection that we have to keep making both for parents and for teachers.

Cindy Goldrich
The analogy I use is, and I use this in my parent work, I use this in the teacher training. I have a balloon. Right, and every time you are asking kids to use their executive function skills that are weak for the moment, or you're adding stress like, Hey guys, this is a time test. And hey, this test counts toward your grade. You've reduced the cognitive space that have to do the problem. Our job as parents and as educators is to keep that balloon inflated.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I love that. All that space. Well, while you were talking, I was sitting and thinking, 'cause I was, I had a lot of stress anxiety as a kid. 'cause I had undiagnosed learning and attention issues and severe, so much so that I got very sick. If a teacher has said, OK, everybody take a breath and let it out. Let me tell you, we're gonna have a quiz. We're gonna, if I had just had that moment to reduce my stress before, I can imagine what a difference it would've made. And this is. 45, 50 years later.

Cindy Goldrich
Yeah, right. Absolutely. And the thing is, a lot of what we talk about is most applicable in those elementary school years. I do teacher trainings for middle school and high school too—you can do these things there—but if you establish these habits in elementary school, students learn: "When I go into the next class, I'm going to take a moment and just breathe," and they internalize why they're doing that.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Which is key. OK, so we've talked about policy and advocacy and our role as parents and as educators of teachers. We've discussed the importance of helping teachers get accurate, current education. We've touched on executive function (and we'll cover that more in other parts of the summit). And we've shared basic tools and techniques teachers can use that serve the whole classroom and also support students with ADHD.

Diane Dempster
Exactly. Cindy, I'm interested in what conversations parents should have with teachers. There's often tension—parents don't want to bother teachers because they're busy. What themes or approaches have you found helpful?

Cindy Goldrich
That's a great question. I'm going to flip it around first, then answer yours. The first conversation you have is with your kid. You want to ask: "What's working for you in class? What worked last year that isn't working now? Where are you struggling?" That informs everything. Too often, parents go to teachers strong-armed, saying, "My kid needs this, and this, and this," and then the kid says, "I don't want that."

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah, I don't get on board at first, but to answer your question—go ahead. There are parents listening right now who will say, "But my kid doesn't know they have ADHD," or "I don't want to talk to my kid about it." There's a real concern. So, let's speak directly to the need to involve our kids in their own advocacy early. That doesn't mean they have to talk to the teacher when they're little, but let's address that briefly.

Cindy Goldrich
I'll give you a ridiculous example—tell me if it resonates. Many years ago, when my sister was pregnant with her second child—and that child is now a parent—my mother said, "Don't tell Josh you're pregnant, because it may worry him." We all looked at her and thought, "You think he hasn't noticed? He's going to figure it out!" It's the same with your kid. You may not have the language or have opened up that conversation, but they know something's up—they know they're going for testing and their friends haven't. By not talking to them, you're missing the opportunity and increasing their shame. That's another whole conversation. I encourage parents all the time: I'll support you in finding the right language, timing, and approach. But please, let's figure out how to bring your kid on board.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah. They have a lot more information than we realize, and you don't have to ask, "How do you think we should manage your ADHD?" That's not the question. It's really, when you feel comfortable in a classroom, what are your teachers doing right?" Helping them get clearer, raising their awareness is what you're talking about.

Cindy Goldrich
Safe is what we're talking about: making it safe for them to be who they are, speak their truth, and ask questions.

Diane Dempster
You're normalizing struggle, right? Everyone struggles—even the smarties. And these kids create stories that they don't. Exactly. So I think it's that sort of, OK, what are you good at? What's hard for you? Boost the good stuff, and address the hard stuff if you want to.

Cindy Goldrich
Now, to answer your question about what to say to the teacher: start by knowing in your heart that this teacher isn't your enemy—they're your ally. If you ever lose sight of that, you're missing something. I once had a teacher yell at my son all the time—he wasn't a behavior problem, he just had learning challenges and ADHD, and she said, "I don't yell, I just speak louder to some kids." We know. But if I'd gone in with accusations, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere. You have to go in with, "I'm sure you've had other kids like this—what has been successful with them?" Then you learn, "Oh, maybe she hasn't had kids like mine," or "This is an education gap." Then you partner with them: "I've found these things are really hard—what can we do?"

And you want to gather information rather than tell them your solution. I promise you, anytime—and you know this in the parenting world too—anytime we give someone a solution without first exploring their concern, perspective, and what they're already trying, we're not meeting them where they are.

Diane Dempster
And not only that, it creates this sense that we don't understand how hard it is. Being a teacher is really hard; there are so many constraints. So by asking, "What can we do?" instead of "Will you do this?" we foster creativity, collaboration, and honor their expertise.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
You started by saying "experience is not education, and knowledge is not knowledge," which is so poignant. If we partner with them, ask questions, and acknowledge their experience, we can pinpoint knowledge gaps and offer help instead of just expecting behavior changes.

Cindy Goldrich
Then, I've opened the door. Parents ask me, "How do I get teachers to attend a webinar or read a book?" If I've asked them what they need and seen that little opening, I can say, "I read an article about that—would it be OK if I send it to you?"

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
No, asking for permission, everybody.

Cindy Goldrich
Exactly.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Asking and enrolling and treating them as a member of the team instead of setting expectations and then getting upset and demanding when they don't hit it. Yeah.

Diane Dempster
Which is, well, Ann, sorry, I would say a lot of parents end up in a place where. There is this contention between them and the teachers because you know you've started and you end up in a conflict. You end up in a situation where you feel like your kids' needs are not getting met. And going back to that, the language we use is assuming best intention. Mm-hmm. This teacher wants to do the best they can for your kid, even if it looks like. They're not, or they're not trying.

Cindy Goldrich
Yeah. And to be clear, of course, there are exceptions, and sometimes the exception is because the teacher may be burnt out. Maybe the teachers haven't argue with their principal. Maybe the teacher had. Stuff in their life, something, you know? Right. I'm not trying to be blind to the fact that, yeah, sometimes it's about the teacher, and if you're in that situation where you are doing your best and you are being kind and everything that we're talking about, and you're still not getting anywhere, then the next step is, okay, talk to the principal, talk to the guidance counselor, but be armed with compassion. Always, but knowledge. In other words, Hey, these are the questions I asked. These are the concerns I have. These are the responses I'm getting. Can you help me see what I can do to make this work? Because then one of a few things is gonna happen. The principal may say, Hey, you know, yeah, I understand. Lemme talk to the teacher.

In any case, they're probably going to talk to the teacher, or the teacher may say, "Honestly, what you're asking for isn't realistic." As I mentioned, my daughter's an elementary special-ed teacher who co-wrote my second book with me. We talk all the time—not about specific kids, because we wouldn't break that confidence—but about what is possible now. Unfortunately, I've been in this long enough to have seen parents go from whispering, "My kid has ADHD," to, "My kid has ADHD—what do I do?" Parents have become a lot more knowledgeable, thank goodness, but sometimes that knowledge is a little dangerous. They go in expecting X, Y, and Z. Well, that's not necessarily realistic or possible. Then the teacher has to say, "No, I can't do X, Y, and Z for your kid. I wish I could, but I can't." And that's where universal design, teacher training, and all those things come in.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
I hate to stop, but we're actually overtime, which is fine. If you love what you're hearing from Cindy, you can find all her resources at cindy@ptscoaching.com. We'll have that in the show notes. She's got the *ADHD Parent Coach Academy*, the *ADHD Teacher Training Academy*, coaching in school settings, and she travels the country supporting parents, families, and schools in navigating ADHD in all kinds of arenas. She's also doing a lot more policy work, which I love—I discovered you joined the CHADD Public Policy Committee right after I stepped off it. Cindy, before we close, is there anything we haven't talked about that you want to highlight?

Cindy Goldrich
Oh gosh, everything! But some of the biggest takeaways are: talk to your kids—see what's working and what's not—and don't be afraid to talk to the teacher. If you need guidance, reach out. Also, if you're a professional—teacher, speech pathologist, parent advocate—get trained. You don't have to be a teacher to help these kids. Teachers want training; they just need people to train them.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Thank you, Cindy. Thank you for being an amazing colleague and for spreading the word. Take care, everybody.