He explains, “Kids will do well if they can. But if they're not doing well, our job is to figure out what's getting in their way so we can help them…Kids want to be loved by their parents. Kids want to be liked by their teachers and their peers. But if that's not happening, if they're getting into trouble, you’ve got to take the stance that something's not working. Because if they could do it, they would be doing it.”

When a kid gets upset, Dr. Katz explains, “Something's not going right. And they start screaming or yelling, or being defiant. And what does the parent typically do? The parent says, ‘You need to do this. You must do this. And if you don't do this, there's a time out. Or there's going to be a loss of privileges.’ Something like that. And what happens next? It just gets worse….It escalates. The kid goes into meltdown.”

But honestly, it’s our behaviors as parents that tend to make things worse. Dr Katz says, “When the kid is most frustrated and upset, and skills are not there to handle it, what do they learn that adults do? Adults push their button one more time until they explode. There's no learning that takes place when the child is having a meltdown. You may think that, ‘We have to enforce the rule. They can't get away with this.’ But if you do that, they're not learning. They're not thinking. Nobody can think when they have an explosion. They've melted down. There's no learning going on.”

So if you’re one of millions parents asking the age-old question, “how can I get my kids to do what I ask?” – tune in to hear Dr. Katz share a 4 step solution that is simpler than you might think!