What if she doesn’t do well in school? Or never makes friends? What if she lives in my basement until she’s 35? Or she ends up in jail? What if she lives a lonely existence?
Are You Catastrophizing?
With all of these questions competing loudly for airtime in our heads, it’s no wonder that parents of ADHD kids are completely overwhelmed! We call this “catastrophizing”: it’s when you see your 12-year-old drop crumbs on the floor and imagine her at 27, living in squalor. It can be paralyzing, and it can rob us of the joy of being with our kids where they are now.
Slow It Down
Instead of fearing forward 20 years, look at the trajectory your child is on. Look back three years. See how much better she is at managing her frustration or remembering her homework, or controlling her impulsivity. Take a moment to appreciate all the successes you’ve enjoyed, and the great memories you’ve created. Remember, they don’t have to be monumental achievements to be worthy of gratitude; small victories are definitely worth celebrating.
It’s The Little Things
If you look forward three years, then another three, you’ll see she’s going to be fine at 27 if she maintains her current trajectory. Which she will, because she has you. Look at the little outcomes, the small steps you can take this week and this year, instead of fearing forward. That’s how you’ll see progress – and that’s how you’ll be able to start living more in the moment with your kids.