Holly Blanc Moses
As you already know, this is gonna be a great summit. It is all about figuring out how to best support our kids with late diagnosis ADHD. I've been working as a therapist for so long. I've been working with kids and teens who are neurodivergent for 27 years, and I've still got a lot to learn, but I'm excited to share what I've learned about communication with all of you today. I have a private practice as a therapist in North Carolina. The Autism ADHD Podcast is amazing. I'm glad that both of you have been on it. I also do parent workshops, so I'm super excited to have this conversation with you.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Beautiful.

Diane Dempster
Well, I guess we're talking about meltdowns, we're talking about communication. I mean, the intersection of those two is so critical. Where do most parents wanna start when we're entering this conversation? "How do I stop my kid's meltdown?"

Holly Blanc Moses
Yes. I know that sounds— I mean, I think we can all agree, right? The parents who are listening are probably nodding, "Yes, yes, that would be amazing. That's why I'm here, showing up for this summit." It is so stressful. I have two neurodivergent kids. They have epic meltdowns— I mean, some that are quite impressive. I can look back and think of it. Not in the moment. It's not impressive in the moment. Yeah. But there is such a connection, and I would say over the last 27 years that I've been working with kids and teens that have a different neurotype, there is a direct connection between miscommunication, confusion, and overwhelm. All of these things come together. It's how we communicate with them, when we communicate with them. But number one is, you as the parent are responsible. Believe me, this isn't easy. I get it. You're responsible for how you enter into communication with your child. You are responsible. So, can I pause this, and let's slow it down a little bit?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
OK. Because there are two issues here that intersect, right? We've got meltdowns. We've got communication. We're gonna get to the communication, but let's dive just a little bit deeper—double-click, if we will—into meltdowns. Because what we see in families and what's coming up as I'm hearing you two talk initially is— I remember when Diane and I first started working together almost 15 years ago, and I would talk about meltdowns, and she was like, "Yeah, we don't really have those." And I'm like, "What do you mean?" So, meltdowns show up in all kinds of ways. We now understand. And so it may be the kid on the floor kicking and screaming, or the teenager slamming the door, right? Or it could be the kid hiding in their bedroom, or the parent losing their cool. So let's just talk a little bit more about what we're talking about before we move to the solution. Is that fair?

Holly Blanc Moses
It is. And all the things you just said. We all have meltdowns in a different way. Some people like to think of tantrums and meltdowns separately. But right now, I'm gonna talk about shutting down—screaming, crying, possibly hitting themselves. I mean, these are really big, important things that we have to talk about, and they're not happening out of nowhere. And that's the beautiful thing we're talking about today—how those are linked with communication. What I see over and over again, over all these years, is this: absolutely one of the core reasons that meltdowns happen is this break in communication between the child and the parent.

Diane Dempster
Well, and as you're saying that, parents say two things. One is, "It feels like they do come out of nowhere." And they'll say, "I feel like I'm really clear in my communication." And sometimes it's not. So there's a nuance to what you're saying about the breakdown in communication that I wanna dig into a little bit, Holly. Because a lot of times we think we're being clear, and I think you're suggesting that it's not always that simple.

Holly Blanc Moses
It is not that simple. Actually, I would say it's usually not that simple. If you think you're being clear and they're still falling apart, we just have to be curious about it. The reason why you showed up today, in this moment, is because you love your kid. You want things to be better. You want a better relationship. And communication has to do with relationship, academics, independent skills, social skills—all of those things.

So if a parent is communicating with their child and they're falling apart—the child is—or the parent is becoming really stressed and having their own meltdown, then we need to be curious about why that is.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah, so there are a lot of different ways that, quote, "meltdowns," can show up, right? And they're gonna look different for kids than they are for adults. And sometimes it's gonna be kind of offensive—your classic yelling, screaming, whatever. But sometimes it's gonna be very subtle or passive. It's gonna be hiding, avoiding. It's gonna be noticing that you're maybe pouring a drink every night.

Diane Dempster
Shutting more—shutting down. I—whatever—shutting down. The flight versus the fight energy, and how those two are different, and, um... so—go ahead, Elaine, sorry.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Well, and this is not— to Diane's point—this is not happening out of nowhere. There's this kind of constant threshold of agitation that's underneath the surface that our kids are responding to, and we're responding to. So that's, I think, the first piece I really wanna help hit home is that this is happening.
Because, to your point, when you say get curious, there's something going on. Right? It's not happening for no reason. It's happening for a reason. And so I think what you're saying, Holly, is: let's talk about the role that communication plays in what's causing these upsets. Is that fair?

Holly Blanc Moses
It is fair. And why we can't wait to get better at communication is because our kids—kids diagnosed with ADHD, kids that haven't been diagnosed yet and we suspect that they might be ADHD—they're more likely to be victimized. Much, much more than other kids.

They are more likely to be physically assaulted. They are more likely to drink alcohol earlier than their peers, to do drugs earlier than their peers, to be in very dangerous sexual situations. I mean, this is really big.
And they have to have safe people that they can count on, that can hear them and believe them, and be an excellent listener—where you can set up good communication now, no matter how old your kid is.

To think like, "Oh, I wanna be that person for them. I wanna be that safe person they can come to. I want them to know that I'm gonna listen to them." And again—one more reason we have to do it.

Diane Dempster
Well, and as you're saying that, I remember when my kids were little and wanting that—I wanna be your safe person. And I'm thinking about all the obstacles that get in the way, and a lot of them are communication obstacles. Does it make sense to talk a little bit about why it's... there's some practicality of why some of this stuff is hard?

Holly Blanc Moses
Absolutely. I love that question. We have to remember that when we communicate with our ADHD child or teen, the way we expect them to communicate with us is probably not the way they need it. So—say more. I love that question too. I'm gonna say I love it. OK. Usually what ends up happening is, in these interactions, parents are stressed, right? They're stressed, and we feel like our meltdowns come out of nowhere. Or we just blame our child for not listening. And we say, "Why do I have to keep telling you?" Well, really, we're tired. We're exhausted. We're stressed. We're worried about our kids' future. We've got an inbox full of teacher emails. Or calls—whatever that is. But we have to remember—we need to start by understanding our kid. Now, every kid with ADHD is different. But I will say, after working with hundreds of kids, their brains are so busy—they're constantly interrupting themselves.

Yeah. Their own brains. They're constantly interrupting themselves. They're interrupting themselves in their brains. They're interrupting themselves when they're talking. Imagine—they're only interrupting you a very little amount of the time they could interrupt you. They're really trying. And having ADHD is hard. Yes, so hard. It's exhausting and overwhelming.

And sometimes, when we're upset—I can speak to this cuz I still struggle with it—sometimes when we're upset, it's hard to come up with the words even. So imagine that you're distracted by everything around you and inside your body. Your brain's interrupting itself. It's hard to come up with the words to communicate. And when you do, often because parents are so stressed, they're not open to hearing what you have to say.

So yeah. Really, it takes both of us—but us as the adults really have to lead the way in this communication and understand that it's not as easy as you think. Sometimes for ADHD kids, communication is so hard. It's another demand. Right? It's not easy. It's something to avoid.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Well, and I'm hearing you, I'm thinking about how many times parents have raised concerns like, "I asked my kid a question, but he won't answer," or "They say, 'I don't know,'" or whatever. And what you're speaking to is how much effort it takes for a kid with ADHD to self-regulate.

To regulate themselves. To regulate their thoughts. To regulate their words. To be able to process the information they're getting and then be able to respond.
And so as parents, we may be thinking about something—and thinking about it all day—and we've had this conversation with our kids 20 times in our head. Then they come home from school and we hit 'em with it. And they're like, "Wait a minute... I was just thinking about the playground," or "the lunchroom," or—right?
And so we expect them to be where we are. And what I hear you talking about is—we're not really slowing down to figure out where they are before we have these conversations.

Holly Blanc Moses
And I would even go farther. I would assume that we're not in the same spot right in that moment. Yeah. I would assume we are not. Yes. Cuz it matters.
Think about all the times that kids will say—like you said—"I don't know." Sometimes they don't know in that moment. Sometimes they do, but they know what you're gonna say. As parents, we're stressed. "Well, you're smart, I know you can do this." "You're choosing not to." All these things that we tell them. Why would they feel safe and open to tell us what's really happening with them? We also have to understand the neurology part. A lot of kids with ADHD have—it has nothing to do with intelligence, by the way. When we do assessments in my office, we are deep diving into everything.

We do not miss anything, which I'm glad to say. They often struggle with lower working memory and processing speed. That also has so much to do with communication. They didn't ask for that. It's really, really hard. So it's about what we wanna communicate, regulating ourselves, and how it's gonna work for our kids.
Every person is different. It depends on age. It depends on severity of ADHD. It depends on—do they struggle with inattention, or is it hyperactive/impulsive type, or is it combined type? Those things matter too. So I wanna break it down. Can I give some examples?

Diane Dempster
Yeah, can—and I'm gonna just jump in. For those of us who are not adults with ADHD, and as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking about all the relationships that I have with individuals with ADHD, and the fact that it's impossible to know what it's like. I mean, I'm listening to you talk, and I'm thinking through all the people, and I'm like, Oh wait, I'm making all... And I've been doing this for 20 years too, and it's like this sort of—I'm making all these assumptions about what it's like in their head and how easy it is to do that.

And the tool we always talk about is assuming best intention. And I wanna just kind of plug that in as you're getting started—these people want to be able to communicate with you. They want to be in a good relationship with you—all of those sorts of things. And our assumptions about what's going on for that other person in the communication dynamic is a huge factor in what gets in our way of being able to do the kinds of things that you're gonna suggest as the core of the next step. So jump into that, Holly.

Holly Blanc Moses
Yeah. And I love that—because if you assume that they're just being difficult, that's a setup for a horrible interaction from the start. When you're curious, and you understand as much as you can—you can't put yourself in someone else's shoes—but assuming, Yeah, they are doing the best that they can. Sometimes they will tell you nothing's wrong because it's too painful. Or, I don't wanna get into it, because they're gonna have to sit and listen to you.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Or they don't feel safe telling you because they...

Holly Blanc Moses
...because they blame you. It's like, Tell me what's going on, and then they get blamed.

Diane Dempster
Or they don't understand what's underneath it, so they say, I must not care. Right? They may not even know what's going on underneath.

Holly Blanc Moses
Well—and all those problems, right? It ends up being a mental health issue—with anxiety, depression. You're lazy. You don't care. You're rude. You're disrespectful. Well, they're actually not. They're not. So I want parents to think—those assumptions? It's like we're putting Post-it Notes all over our kids, and they're carrying this stuff around.

Yeah. Really, it's about—I like that visual. Like, bam, bam! Lazy. You don't care. You're selfish. You're disrespectful. It's horrible. I grew up that way. I've had a lot of therapy. Yeah. I mean, this is stuff that these kids are gonna carry around. It's gonna become their I'm not good enough story.

Diane Dempster
And for those of you out there who just felt this wave of guilt wash over your entire body, I wanna stand for that. Take a deep breath and go—you know now. If you know, don't blame yourself for the Post-it notes. Instead, figure out what you can do differently with that awareness.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah. I love that you said that. That happened up until now. Yeah. And there's what happens from here forward—and those three words, up until now, can really change your life. It can change everything.

Holly Blanc Moses
It could change what kind of adult relationship you have with your kid. Yeah. So I thank you for doing that, cuz I'm sure that brought up shame for a lot of people. I've done this for so long, and I have screwed up. I have screwed up as a parent—oh yeah. And as things came outta my mouth, I thought, Oh my goodness, that was horrible. And believe me, they'll remember. So you apologize. You learn more. You show up to this summit. If you're here, you are taking the time to learn more about how to love your kid. So I want you to think about that—anyone feeling that shame, that just means that you care. That's why we're here—to learn more. And we're always learning more. We're always getting better, no matter how old we are, right?
Yeah. So I think about it depending on the kid, and it's kind of a series of tests. I don't want anyone to think it's a right or wrong situation. Maybe it's seeing what feelings your kid does know—and not even asking them, How are you feeling right now?

It could be a list of feelings that you either say out loud—maybe they're not reading them yet, or they're so overwhelmed they don't get a chance to read them cuz they're running around. Or, Oh my goodness, that list is too long. I can't even read it right now. So if you need to start out with one or two when they're regulated—Hey, what do you think sad means? Mad? No? Hmm. OK. And just be curious about it.
And everyone usually has their phone, so you can just put it in your Notes section—I'm not sure if they know what sad is—and then point it out if you notice.

Yeah, I would be sad too about that. I'm sorry that happened. And really figuring out what they know about their own experience. A lot of times the words get jumbled. And so I'm a big fan of visuals. I use dry erase boards—you see a giant one behind me. I've got a bunch of small ones. I use popsicle sticks, images of their favorite things—maybe it's a cat, maybe it's a dog, maybe it's a transformer, whatever that is. And then you can pair it with that feeling.

Diane Dempster
Bottom line, on some level what you're saying is that part of the communication challenge may be that our kids aren't in touch with what they're really feeling. So their ability to communicate what that feeling is—they come in the door, they're overwhelmed from school. I think about how many times kids hit the door and they have a meltdown at the door. They may not know, Gee, I've had this terrible day at school and I feel overwhelmed, or I feel sad, or I feel whatever else. So that's what you're saying—is that the first thing is helping them really even identify so that they can articulate what's really going on in their brain and their body. Is that what you mean?

Holly Blanc Moses
Right. And doing it in a way where it doesn't have to be a demand. Cuz that's gonna be one more thing they run from. They've been demanded upon all day long. They've been corrected. They've been criticized—a lot of the time. So thinking of it as What do they know? with curiosity. And maybe it's not the word. Maybe it's a face. Maybe it's, you know, a smiling cat. I wonder if they're happy or sad—what do you think? I mean, just these little things here and there. Not all at once—cuz that can be completely overwhelming.

Diane Dempster
Right? Or even—Where do they notice it in their bodies? Right? It's the sort of, feelings are manifested in our bodies first.

Holly Blanc Moses
Often, yes. And I love that modeling, which actually helps the parent become more aware of their own physiological reaction. So, say for instance, Oh, I'm making dinner, and this part didn't turn out exactly like I had planned. I had it in my mind that I wanted it to look like this. It didn't quite look like that. I'm feeling a bit disappointed about it.

So we're not even asking them anything—we're just modeling that. We're doing this all the time in our heads, but we don't say it out loud. We just expect them to be able to know how to do all these things in their brains.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
The parallel that just got to me is, you know, when our kids are little and we're teaching them to read, we talk about creating a print-rich environment. We put words everywhere, right? We label things. We create an environment where they see words so that they can learn words. And what I think I hear you saying is to create a feeling-aware environment—to begin to raise awareness to what people are feeling at any time. And for, you know, when the kids are little, it may be things like sad, and as they get older—so for teens and young adults—you may be dealing with it differently. And it may be more modeling and labeling your own feelings, cuz you're probably not gonna ask, you know, a 17-year-old, What do you think sad means? Right? But you can be in conversation around feelings that's not about them.

Holly Blanc Moses
Right. Not about them. So it's not that they're gonna feel shame, right? And take on your feeling. We're just modeling that you actually have a feeling. Because usually what they see is, for parents, we keep it all in—and then we explode.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah.

Holly Blanc Moses
They do the same thing.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah.

Holly Blanc Moses
Right. So sometimes it's like using it as a check-in. Even I'm checking in with myself, noticing—like you were saying about your body—that I'm feeling a little bit hungry right now. Or, my head is feeling a little bit dizzy, I feel like I'm overwhelmed.

So modeling is really big. And Elaine, I'm glad that you brought up the idea of age and skill, because that does matter. We wanna start out smaller than you think, right? We don't wanna assume. We're just gonna get that I don't know, I don't care, Leave me alone kind of stuff. So don't give up—just think of it as information. It's just data. Maybe this isn't the time.

Maybe after school, they've been masking all day, they've been holding it together—it's not time for a communication. Maybe it's during a transition—not while they're on a video game or talking with their friend—but before dinner or after dinner, right after a shower, or something like that. Some kind of transition. Those are good times to start doing this as well. Something even teens—and even adults—struggle with, especially those with ADHD, is starting the sentence.

Holly Blanc Moses
When is it OK to say this is how you feel as a parent? You need to be open because they're gonna tell you. You want them to tell you, believe it or not. So stay calm if they're mad at you about something, right? These are hard conversations, but they're ones that you wanna teach them to have.

Diane Dempster
Like, I'm thinking about adults, right? We don't. We don't do that. We have those conversations, but we don't have a big vocabulary of words. I think most of us—like if you were to ask how you're feeling—it's like, I'm either good or I'm not good. Right? It's just I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm not, I'm fine. It's this sort of—our vocabulary as a society right now is very limited. And there's a lot of shame, I think, in society about talking about feelings or dynamics in relationships.

You know, so if you admit that you're disappointed, maybe your co-parent takes it personally and it's like, Oh my gosh, I must be a terrible co-parent because now my wife or my husband is disappointed. I mean, there's all these dynamics that go on in the adult relationships around emotions. What a gift it could be if we could go back and kind of help all of us by helping our kids.

Holly Blanc Moses
And really, we are. And that's what we're talking about too. I don't wanna say all of us—many of us were taught that we could not say how we felt because we were wrong, because we were selfish, because it was disrespectful, because it was rude. Yeah. Those shape adults who feel like they cannot have those healthy relationships—they don't know how. You feel like you can't, it's not safe to tell your partner. It's not safe to tell your friend how you feel. You have to hold it all inside. Those set them up for future victimization and unhealthy situations. And so again, none of this work is easy—but also the other way isn't easy either. So I think of it like a starter sentence. This is often what I'll use: I'm feeling... Don't tell them how they feel, because if you tell them the wrong thing, they'll be irritated.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Or don't feel that way?

Holly Blanc Moses
Don't be scared. No, you don't feel that way. Be scared. You're allowed. You have permission to feel all the feelings. When you say don't feel that way or that's not true, you are basically canceling out your communication with your kid.

Diane Dempster
Well—and how many of us as parents, again, it's just sort of—I don't want my kid to feel bad. And so we do—we try to negate the feeling because we're trying to help them feel better. It's good intention. But what you're saying—and I wanna reiterate it—is if you do that, sometimes our kids will hear that as their feeling is wrong. They'll hear that.

Holly Blanc Moses
Yeah, thank you. They'll hear that. And you're right that we do have the best intentions: Don't worry. No—it's normal to worry. It's normal to feel disappointed. It's normal to feel embarrassed. Of course you would in that situation.
And so, really normalizing all the emotions—not saying you're not supposed to feel that way, because that's what they're hearing. So what that means is, the next time they feel that way—they're not gonna tell you.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
It's essentially—

Holly Blanc Moses
You're telling them that they're wrong or they shouldn't feel that way.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
So I wanna watch our time because we're kind of bumping up, and I know you had several communication tips that you wanted to share. We've talked about feelings. What else do you wanna make sure we hit?

Holly Blanc Moses
I'm a big fan of the word because. I love it. Yeah, I love the because, because what I usually find is—even if it's written—I use a lot of these I feel ___ because. So it could be something in the past, something that's over, something that's not super fresh and scary, right? Like, I felt really sad when... because...

We don't do the because. If we even get to the feeling, we kind of stop there. The because is the most important part. So oftentimes I say the word because, and the child will finish. Yes. So don't expect them—don't expect them—don't assume that they're gonna be because, cuz again, we all do it. You know: Oh, you look tired. Oh, why do you look tired? Because... oh, because maybe you didn't sleep well last night. We can help with that. It opens up everything. Because usually it comes down to shame. Oh, you didn't wanna tell me about the grade because I was afraid I'd get in trouble.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
So because is a conversation technique to invite somebody to say more.

Holly Blanc Moses
Exactly. I'll give you another example about school. You can use this for independent skills as well. Just yesterday, I was working with a client and we wrote down all of her subjects in school. I was using How much energy does it take up?—right?—with popsicle sticks. Well, ELA and social studies were the most sticks. OK, so you said ELA takes up a lot of your energy. ELA takes up a lot of my energy because...Because I have to write so much and my hand hurts.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah.

Holly Blanc Moses
So this is the beauty of starting sentences for them—even no matter how old they are. And you can write it down, you can text it. If they're a teen, sometimes that feels better to them. Tell me what I can do for you to support you. And maybe there's a list of things like, Hey, just don't talk to me for 30 minutes. OK. Thank you for letting me know.

Diane Dempster
Well, and what the because is enabling you to do—I'm going back to your word curiosity at the beginning, right?—it's enabling you and your kiddo to get curious about what's really going on, or what some of the things are that might be going on. And I think that's one of the adds I would put in here: it's not always one thing.
Sometimes it's, Is there any... and what else? And what... you know? It's this sort of digging in a little bit, instead of just kind of taking the first answer.

Holly Blanc Moses
Right? And so, for instance, like a shower. You have a child that's resisting a shower? OK, well let's look at all the steps. There's so many in showers—listing them. I wonder which one is the easiest for you. You know, just being curious about it. These things are gonna help us not only communicate better, help them problem solve and be collaborative, instead of just melting down—everyone's melting down over—because the child isn't doing this thing.

You know, I had a client the other day that was so resistant to going to a class. And we because-d all the way—took a lot of becauses—but we because-d all the way over to find out that the teacher was going through the slides too fast and he couldn't keep up with the notes and the handwriting. So what do we do? He's gonna have the teacher's notes. We're gonna put that in the IEP. He's gonna have teacher's notes and he's gonna have the printed-out slides at the start of the class.

Or: Hey, why aren't you asking for that accommodation in your 504?
Well, because... I'm not—
Well, you must not need it.
No, it's because I get bullied in that class and I know if I ask for a break, even though I'm allowed, it's just gonna be one more thing.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah.

Holly Blanc Moses
So that's the beauty of it. And parents need to because. Because parents—when they come and see me—often the underlying because for them is fear.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah.

Holly Blanc Moses
I'm scared. I'm scared that my kid won't be able to take care of themselves. I'm scared that they're not gonna graduate high school. I'm scared that they won't be able to get a job.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Right. Well, and there's so many things that come up as I'm hearing it. What's really clear to me is that what you're doing is creating a way for us to get underneath what we think is the problem—to get more and more clear on what's really going on.

Holly Blanc Moses
And Elaine, if they don't know the because, you can also make a list that they can draw from. And I always have: too long, too hard, too easy, too boring. The twos are a great place to start. So if they don't have a because yet, you can model that for yourself and then also give them some options that they can choose from. It's really a lovely way to build a communication structure that's healthy.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Beautiful. So let's take a moment. Actually, let's do this: let's tell people where they can find out more about you. You gave us a link. All of this information is available for you @hollyblancmoses.com/connect

There, you can get free gifts, access to the Autism ADHD Podcast—which is fabulous—you can get parent programs, there's continuing education for therapists. So there's a lot of resources at hollyblancmoses.com/connect. The link is there for you. Holly, is there anything else we haven't talked about today that you wanna make sure we hit before we wrap this conversation?

Holly Blanc Moses
It's a journey. No one's gonna be rougher on you as a parent than yourself, and I wanna encourage all of you: parenting is the hardest job. I mean, it is the hardest job. It is hard for us professionals who support all of you. It's not easy for us either.
But I think when we are kind to ourselves and understanding and curious about where our stress comes from—and really do that work—allow yourself to have all the feelings and allow yourself to not have all the answers, it can really be so lovely. Not only for your own mental health—cuz parenting stress is high—I did my undergrad honors thesis on parenting stress levels, and parenting stress levels of parents with kids with ADHD is so much higher. Grief—so much higher.

And so remember that. And remember that again—if you mess up, because you will. Because I will. Because we all will. It's just a time to apologize, reflect, learn from that experience, and move forward.

Diane Dempster
And what great modeling that is. Holly, what a great conversation this has been. It's been wonderful to kind of talk about feelings and curiosity and really kind of how to help our kids maneuver through big emotions by using some good communication tools.

Holly Blanc Moses
Mm-hmm. Thank you for that. Mm-hmm. And it matters. Self-advocacy, all the things—it touches everything.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah, it so does. You know, one of the things we do—workshops and conversations about communication—and one of the things that became clear to me a few years ago is: there are four parts to communication. There's what we say, and then there's what they hear—not to mention how we say it. And then there's how they feel it.
Communication is really nuanced and it's complicated. And so these simple techniques really break it down and give us some language that we can use to slow it down and simplify it so that we can really connect. And what I hear underneath all of this is the power of connection and building those relationships.

Holly Blanc Moses
It is. 'Cause we want them to know they are the most important people. And if you do an eye roll or a sigh, they're gonna pick that up too. So again, just be curious about how we present ourselves and stay open to learning, and I think that's just the best way to do it.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Awesome. Holly, thank you for being here. Thank you for doing what you're doing in the world and bringing your fabulous smile and positive energy to the brilliance that you offer.

Holly Blanc Moses
Thank you so much to both of you. And thank you all for listening and watching. You are making the next step by participating in the summit, you are making the next step to a better relationship with your child.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus
Yeah. All right. Thanks everybody. We'll see you in the next one.

Holly Blanc Moses
Take care.