Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Welcome back, everybody to another current conversation in the parenting within tech podcast. I am super excited today to introduce you to our guest, Mark Keita Davis, who is the Chief Academic Officer of KinderCare. So an organization that's been around for, I think, more than 50 years, it's been around for a long time established, like talk about doing good work in the world. So Markita, thank you for being here with us. Welcome.

Marquita Davis: You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: It's a delight. So tell us a little bit about how you came to be doing this work in the world and to help people who don't know what is KinderCare. Great.

Marquita Davis: I'll start with KinderCare. How about the X KinderCare is an organization that provides early childhood care and education for children from six weeks to 12 years old. And we provide it in what we would call traditional centers, center care, we also have a before and after care in the center care and we have a wonderful, thriving aftercare program for school-aged children. We have great connections with companies and businesses that run their own childcare on sites as well as universities. So that's a little bit about KinderCare.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Awesome. Well, so how did you become involved with an Oregon organization? How long?

Marquita Davis: I've been with KinderCare 18 months. How about that? Okay. All right, tenure. A long tenure, but I've been in early childhood feel for almost 30 years, I know I've been working. Been working in this space for 30 years prior to coming to KinderCare. I was at the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, where I ran the early childhood program there at the foundation and have done some great work in Alabama. And so start in pre K work there as well.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Beautiful, beautiful. So it's always for you in some way or another about identifying the preciousness of these young people and helping them reach their potential. Yes, I get that I feel that I had a beautiful opportunity many years ago when I was raising kids actively when my kids were younger, I had a nanny who was working for me whose daughter ended up on a scholarship with the Gates Foundation. Oh, I ended up with 10 years of college. Oh, yeah. A kid who was raised in my house with it's really cool. Sack. Yeah. Beautiful work. So here we are talking to parents of what we like to call complex kids, and, and all of the professionals who support them. Let's let's turn the attention to what you think is important based on your work in preventive care and early intervention. Right. And your wealth of experience across the lifespan of children? What's important for parents to understand that we should be talking about today? Well.

Marquita Davis: It's interesting because I know that a lot of your work centers on support for parents. And so when you look at the research, and you look at the data, there's lots of good information about how early learning settings or school settings should support children with exceptionalities. Often what's missing? Are those real conversations that also have to support parents? And so while we think about how we show up in space for young children, which is the first line, right, that's what guy really wants to do, we understand that parents are their first teachers and that if we want to balance in this equation, we also, especially with complex children, children in general, but especially with complex children, have to think about the mental health supports or just the overall supports through education and knowledge building that we also have to provide for families. And so, KinderCare is unique in that we serve all children, regardless of their exceptionality. And we also pay very close attention to support for families. We want to empower families. We want families to understand that they're their child's first teacher. We want to give them the tools that they need as they transition into a more traditional. Setting a K 12 setting. And so we try to balance how we support families.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: To talk. I love that notion that's beautiful language that parents are a child's first teachers. What occurs to me as I'm hearing it come out loud, right is parents are ongoing, and a child's teacher, is always. And sometimes, where parents get stuck is too busy trying to be the teacher and not being the parent.

Marquita Davis: Yeah, yeah, that's absolutely fair. Do you remember when you were younger, and your mother may have said to you, I'm not your best friend. I'm your parent, right? And the thing is this, if you have your child in a quality learning setting, in our case, a quality early learning setting, right, you recognize that it's a partnership, that the responsibility doesn't just rest on the parent be everything, but the parent partnering right with the provider, the caretaker, the individual that is supporting this child through long hours of the day in many instances. And so it really should be a partnership, regardless of the exceptionality of the child, it should be a partnership, and the parent has to understand they don't have to go it alone. And one other thing I'd like to say, because I think it's important, and parents should also understand that they have the right to advocate to ask questions and to be engaged.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah. So, so many things in that bill, there are so many directions, we could go with that with those statements, because there is in our population, the right to advocacy is a big issue. feeling entitled to a partnership can be a big issue. Yeah. So what I was originally thinking about was that teachable moments are important, and they're not everything, we have to be careful not to overteach the teachable moments. But I love this conversation about how we figure out how to be in partnership, particularly when we've got kids who we're all still trying to figure out and understand. I mean, some kids, they kind of follow the metrics and and it's, they're easier to educate than others. That's correct. That's right. But when the school hasn't quite figured it out, we haven't quite figured it out. And maybe the doctors haven't quite figured it out. And like that, it adds this other dimension. Right?

Marquita Davis: Yeah. Elaine, you said something really important that I think, in some ways, answers, what you're saying is, well, you named a whole host of individuals that are part of this kind of responsiveness to a child, the school before that the Early Learning, setting the teacher, the parent, the pediatrician. And that, to me is an example of understanding that we don't go it alone, right? The intention is not to go it alone. And so there's so much to learn when your child is in a setting. So what it does require, I think, is a lot of vulnerability from a parent, and the ability to give over some ownership. And what I mean by that is not that you own the person, but the experiences of that child. So when you go into an early learning setting, and you have a provider, who is spending hours with your child, and may recognize some things that you don't necessarily recognize that one does make you a bad parent doesn't make you a parent that's not informed, but they are they spend a lot of time with providers, it's important to listen. And what we do tend to find is when you're working with a family, and you may notice some things with a child, and you say to mom and a dad, here's what I'm noticing. Often parents are like what do you mean, I'm with them all the time and did not notice that. And I also recognize that it is about building trust with that provider. So building trust with that provider listening to them, and then being able to assess with your husband or wife or partner and your pediatrician whether in fact these things that your provider has noticed are real things. And so often it's the first line of defense. Often it's the first time that someone trained in early childhood, a teacher or a paraprofessional may notice and bring it to the attention of families and it's important to build trust. So the families then can rely on what you said and even if they're a little hesitant I can at least talk to a trusted pediatrician or discuss it or look for it at home.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So as I'm hearing you talk, I am flashing back to my eldest child who is now almost 30. at two years old, Wow, very early parent-teacher conference, the first of many conversations, this one was about, I don't know, not using scissors properly, or whatever it was. But but the first time I heard a provider, raising concerns, right? And my job, as you say, was to listen, and to hear and to, and to explore. And what's jumping at me right now? Markita is, now this is going back 30 years. So the world's very different now than it was, was how many years it took before I felt like I got the professionals in my world to take my perspective seriously, and to listen, and to understand. And, so after those first years, I was the one that I felt like I was trying to get the providers to understand that there was something else going on here. And so it kind of goes both ways. It's like a death, we got it, there's that falling into trust falling out of trust, dancing around trust that we have to learn to trust each other.

Marquita Davis: Yes, it's interesting, as you were talking, I know it was 30 years ago, and that one of the things that we do at KinderCare is we provide a developmental screener. It's, it's Brigantes. And we provide this.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Way that again, it Brigance Developmental Screener.

Marquita Davis: And so as you were talking about your two-year-old child, and the teacher saying, Oh, they're not cutting, we use that as an example, because it's a gross motor skill, a fine motor skill, right? They noticed it through interactions. And now what's in place, and what also can empower parents are actual tools, norm reference tools, that then you Elaine young mother, 30 years ago could be able to say, or if it were now you would be able to say, Listen, I have this assessment that was done with my child, it identifies that they are delayed, Mr. Pediatrician, I do not care what you say, here in the data in support of that. And then the pediatrician, perhaps with listening, but to your larger point, about the reciprocity, and the trust base of these relationships. That's why it's so imperative that when families are going into providers, that they're that they develop a relationship for the benefit of that child. That's really important. It is more than just did the child blow their nose today, or even the parent saying, right? To the provider, I noticed Johnny, moving back and forth a lot. Have you noticed that to your earlier point? And so there is this relationship between the two in support of the child. And often it is when the child is the youngest. When we see these exceptionalities? And we do have to fight for the rights of our children, often women when they go into the public school space, but at least in that early learning space, we can prepare families for that journey into the public school space.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah, exactly. So let's take a quick break. And then we're going to come back and see where this conversation takes us. Welcome back, everybody. My guest is Markita Davis, she is the KinderCare academic lead. I lost the name of it, but the head of academics for KinderCare. And, we've been talking about the partnership between parents and providers, parents and schools about how important it is for it from an early intervention place to begin. And I think what's coming to me is how important it is for us as parents to really think about the team that we are putting together in support of our kids. And, we know that line, there's, it takes a village and, and that village has leadership, right? And it's the team of providers, pediatricians, educators after school care, that's the name, the babysitters, the tutors that like that's the team. Yeah, and we are out of it.

Marquita Davis:  

Absolutely. But parents are the leaders. They're the coaches of the team. And they get to make the calls for the plays. But there are lots of people behind the scenes that are influencing those calls. Not to get too theory heavy, but there's a wonderful theory out called ecological theory, it's by Urie Bronfenbrenner. And I love it because he epicenter of the theory is the child. And then there are all these systems, like a solar system, that if all wrapped around the child in support of that child, and that's what you have talked about today, I do want to go back real quick and say something about the leaders of the team, the coaches of the team because raising a child with exceptionalities, or just children, in general, can be highly stressful, it is as equally important for parents to make sure that they take care of themselves, to be the best advocate, the best parent, the best human being for your child means that you feel absolutely no guilt or shame in taking care of yourself because that's how you're going to show up for your child because it can be exhausting. And so I think it's important also to go back to that because that's how the leader of the team will be able to go into each and every situation with some sense of determination, resilience, and perseverance.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Yeah, we always say we've been saying this from the beginning, if you don't know where to focus, lean into a relationship, and pay attention to self-care.

Marquita Davis: Absolutely.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I remind parents all the time, my kids to walk when with a challenge, why should I be focusing on myself? I mean, that is that is the number one, we've done a lot of research, why don't students ask for help? Why don't they get help, because parent training for kids with ADHD and executive function challenges autism, and anxiety, parent training is the number one recommended treatment other than medication, I love that less than 30% of kids even get referrals to parent training, less than 30% of parents, right, even get the referral much less participate. And then of that 30%, a significantly smaller percentage actually pursue it. So there's this contradiction here. You're saying, which is that we've kind of taken care of ourselves, and with the medical community is saying is this is recommended treatment, and then the story that parents have about it themselves, which is I shouldn't need this. I don't do this, you.

Marquita Davis: Shouldn't ask for this. How should is because we should be Marvel characters, right, Superman and Superwoman? And that there are in some ways we martyr ourselves, yes, when we don't have to. And even in a setting, like KinderCare. Setting. We take this very seriously. We want to support parents we want to eat we support our teachers when they call in to inclusion services in support of children in their classrooms. What do I do I have this issue, how do I help them? We always ask them, What can we do for you? How can we support you as well? In an airplane, they tell the parent to put their medicine first. Yeah, so.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: And yet we fight it, don't we like it spy? Dating to me.

Marquita Davis: It is fascinating. I think it's culture and belief system. If for any minute you put your foot if you take your foot off the gas, then you might miss an opportunity to help your child. And it goes back to you're not doing this alone. You're not doing this alone, you shouldn't have to do it alone. And if you're in a quality setting, a quality or learning setting, because that's the space that I'm in, right, then you will not have to do it alone.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: So, part of me wants to go to the question I was thinking I really wanted to ask you, which is, from your wealth of experience, what are some of the messages that help parents embrace this philosophy? And then there's this other nagging question that I want to ask What's your recommendation for parents who don't find themselves in what they would see as a quality experience? So they're kind of two different direction.

Marquita Davis: Divergent questions. So I what, Elaine, I don't know the answer to the first question because We can talk about science just like you said earlier, right? We can talk about the data. And we can encourage families, to the parents in particular, to not go it alone, I would say that if you are in a quality setting, quality early learning, then you have a teacher or a center director, who is saying to, you don't have to do this alone. Here we are, here are the resources, here's how we're going to support you, here's how we're going to help you. My hope is that parents will listen and trust and think about what's best for their family, in support of their child.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: As far as Can I speak to that real quick? Together, but because here's what jumped out at me is I've had many conversations with school superintendents over the years who have said, My mandate is the child, not the parent. Laugh out loud, but they don't have funding for it. Right. So you're in a setting where there's a, we're looking at the whole health of the child, and KinderCare. But you don't necessarily get that when you get into the public school system, certainly in our country.

Marquita Davis: Well, that's the great thing about an early learning experience, or quality, early learning experience, that can be part of your story. And the whole child is never devoid of their family. Right? The wholeness of the child is, in fact, their family. And so if we want children to have everything that they need in the absence of their parents, that's like educational malpractice. Can't one not happen without the other? And it doesn't require money to say to a parent, what, there is the United Way Down away has the mental health support for families, right, this number, or call? So and so I think maybe you need that. That just takes someone who understands that the care of the child begins with their parents.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: The care of the child begins with abuse. Yeah. So I interrupted you, you were going a different way.

Marquita Davis: So the second the latter, but convergent question was, can you repeat it?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Well, so there was there was this, I think you kind of spoke to both of them. And in a way, there was how do I deal with it? If I'm not inequality? Yeah, that's a very obsessive quality environment. Wow, that's happening when kids especially older.

Marquita Davis: Yeah. Okay. So I would listen, I understand the realities of the world. 31% of children are not in any type of care. And so we have those children that are in care, and whether they are kissing kin big momma's house, or are setting like KinderCare. All of this is about advocating having a voice and asking for what you want. So that even goes back to the other thing that you talked about earlier, there's a whole training that has to happen, for parents to be able to say, even in settings that are not like KinderCare. Hey, Miss Suzie. I love that you love my child. This is what I've noticed. Have you noticed it? Yeah. Right. Have you noticed it? And so I know that in a perfect situation, that doesn't happen. All did well, in a perfect situation would happen all the time. But I understand that it doesn't. And the only way that I can respond to that is again, pushing the parent to show up and ask the questions and develop the relationship with a provider, whoever that provider is.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: As so many. So many things are coming up, as you're saying this, and I'll put some, some notes, some resources in the show notes. But this notion, we've talked a lot about community, and the importance of community because when you're in community with other parents, you begin to see, when your kids are an outlier, you begin to see your kid with what other parents are getting in terms of supports that your kids may not be getting you like being in community with other parents allows you perspective and insight as well.

Marquita Davis: So Elaine, how do you get people in the community? I mean, you pose the beautiful question to me as it relates to really childhood and education and since that's part of the work that you do, how do you get people Low-Income unity?

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I think that answer I would there are two answers. One is we struggle with it. Because there's a lot of resistance. We've done a lot of research, and every few years, we do research to try to figure out what are parents seeking. What is it make what is making it so hard for them to step in and get the help we do? They need it, and we make a ton of it available for free. And we call ourselves a private-sector business for the public good. And we try to do everything we can afford to do for free so that there's no barrier to access that way. But it's it is it's a tall order. I mean, what we're talking about is a complex issue. There are so many dynamics involved. And we haven't even talked about when the parents have complex issues themselves.

Marquita Davis: We haven't talked about that. I used to run Headstart. And so even in my Headstart days, we would see a lot of that trauma-informed care, trauma for families, I will say that we mean that often in the private childcare space, like a kinder care, we also recognize that families have trauma. And it isn't necessarily based on income, it is lived experiences.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Right? Very much not based on.

Marquita Davis: But there are often those who think that is the only parents who have those income-based issues, lived through traumatic events. And that is not the case at all. So.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: But the man in our community, in fact, what we're beginning to see some research coming out that that the evidence of around the trauma that happens for these kids when they're learning issues, their developmental challenges are not diagnosed and treated. Oh, yeah creates its own medical trauma of not being identified and not being properly supported. But that's another another podcast conversation.

Marquita Davis: You have to invite me back to the neck.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Love it. So we do need to start wrapping up this conversation. How can people find out more about you and the resources available at KinderCare? Well.

Marquita Davis: You can always hit me up on LinkedIn, and also KinderCare, that calm.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Awesome. Let's keep it easy. Yeah, and we will put all of this in the show notes, everybody, as well as some resources based on this conversation, I'll pull some links to other podcasts and some articles and some pieces that I think would be supportive of this conversation. So I am sad to say we do have to start wrapping it up because I've loved it. Tell us Is there anything we haven't talked about that you really want to make sure you share with parents today or something else, maybe that you want to come back and highlight?

Marquita Davis: I will say that I'm actually really lucky as a professional to have worked in spaces where children and their families are a priority at KinderCare. We believe that we believe in the wholeness of the child, which includes their families. And I understand that there are places where that isn't the case, I would say to families seeking care that every environment isn't the right environment for your child. Least restrictive environments matter and where your child can blossom and grow. Having a loving, caring adult who understands early childhood, who cares about you as an individual and your child is important. And I think that if you have the and I use this word lightly, luxury or ability to find a setting like KinderCare I would strongly suggest that you do. Yeah.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I feel that, that I remember having debates with my husband in the early years of our marriage about if we had to choose Public School versus Private School, right, like if we weren't in public school wasn't an option of private school as an option. Like where was it most important to get the most comprehensive care? And what I'm hearing you saying is back to early childhood development. What happens in this first handful of years is really powerful and really important. 

Marquita Davis: You said it best I mean, we can leave now.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: I thank you for what you're doing in the world and for the beautiful energy you bring to it. It's been a pleasure to get to know you.

Marquita Davis: And us.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Before we wrap we always like to ask, Do you have a favorite quote or motto that you'd like to share with our listeners?

Marquita Davis: I always say to people when I leave them and, some sign-off, be good to yourself. So be good to yourself in mine.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus: Beautiful, I love that. I might take that one forward with me, the good tears. Thank you again for being here. Those of you listening, thank you for what you're doing for yourself and for your kids. Take a moment. Think about the conversation that we've just been having for the last half hour what are the insights you're taking from today? What messages stood out to your to you? What do you want to take forward with you into your week? And it may be that you end with this final message of be good to yourself or it may be something else we talked about earlier in the conversation, but what's the awareness or the insight you have now that you didn't have half an hour ago that you want to bring with you into your relationships with your family, with your caregivers, with your providers and with your kids? And it's always to remember that your role matters. What you do and how you be with these kids. It matters a lot. At the end of the day, you make an enormous difference. Take care of anybody see at the next one.