Elena Nichols, M.A Hons
Parent Coach (she/her)
Languages: Spanish, English
As the youngest in my household growing up, I think I had the easiest ride; others in my family weren't so lucky. There was love and there were good times ... and it was also really stressful. There was a lot of “walking on egg-shells” around a volatile, explosive parent; there was a lot of judgement and intransigence; differences of opinion were not addressed in a respectful way, but through shouting matches and insults. Overall there was a lot of avoidance and denial of underlying issues which left an indelible imprint on me. I swore I would do things differently when I had a family of my own.
Years later, having moved from my native Britain to Mexico, this awareness became more acute with three children of my own. I felt like there was something I needed to understand, but I didn't really know what it was or where to look for it.
I found the answers in Coaching. After a few sessions, I realised that what I had been looking for was a better understanding of myself, my beliefs about myself and how I operate in the world and in my relationships.
I brought what I had learned to my role as a mother and was fascinated to discover that instead of feeling like the victim of my children's behaviour, I could take responsibility for finding a different perspective that would make me feel better. If I felt better, I could react differently which, in turn, would elicit a different response from my kids. So when my first born would wake up every single day around 5:00am from 3 months of age to age 13, I could choose to complain bitterly, blame him for my desperation and use it as an excuse for my bad temper or I could see it as an integral part of being the mother of a incredibly bright, lively, energetic child and accept it. Did it make the behaviour go away? No. Did it allow me to see this child in a more positive light? Absolutely.
Similarly, when my second child was diagnosed with a learning disability, I am ashamed to admit that initially I took it as an affront to my values, as if it was somehow her fault! If Coaching taught me anything though, it was that I could choose who I wanted to be in any given situation and I knew my initial reaction was the opposite of what my daughter needed from me.
Instead of being a blaming, shaming, judgey mother, I decided to focus on her many strengths and talents and support her the best I could. After years of remedial therapy and many more years struggling with school work, she has become incredibly competent in so many other areas that the learning issues have now somewhat faded into the background. It was all a question of managing my expectations and recognizing that no child will ever be exactly the way we think they “should” be; they will be exactly who they are, with their unique gifts and struggles and quirks, and that is perfect.
The incredible awareness that Coaching gave me led me to train to become a professional coach with Coaches Training Institute (CTI) — so that I could help others in the way that my Coach had helped me.
As I started giving workshops and coaching parents to help them transform their relationships with their kids, I noticed that parents of complex kids could really turn things around and make their homes happier and calmer with the coaching techniques that I was teaching.
I wanted to learn more! I was fortunate to find ImpactParents, and Elaine and Diane ́s brilliant tried-and-tested system for supporting parents of complex kids. Now, here I am, thrilled to be part of a team of professional coaches, and eager to help you make the changes you want to see for your family.
● Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness Program
● Certified Sanity School® Trainer and Parent Coach
● Certified by the International Coach Federation as an Associate Certified Coach
(ACC)
● Certified by Coaches Training Institute (CTI) as a Certified Professional Co-Active
Coach (CPCC)
● Founder of elenanichols.com Life & Parent Coaching (in Spanish)
● Creator of parent coaching courses for Spanish-speaking clients including:
● Cómo Hablar Para que tus Hijos te Escuchen
● La Rivalidad Entre los Hermanos
● 16 Estrategias para Transformar la Relación con tus Hijos
● Cómo Sobrevivir a tu Adolescente en la Cuarentena
● Creator of Ser Mejores Papás parent-coaching membership for Spanish speakers
● Parentology: CTI-approved course in Coaching for Parents
● Regular guest on Buenos Días Retro radio show talking about parenting issues with
Gastón Lambarry on 103.1FM RASA, México
● The Empowerment Dynamic for Coaches: Getting your Stuck Clients Unstuck
● The Science of Happiness at Work
● M.A Hons in Spanish, Edinburgh University, Scotland