Our Story

Emily Trotman, M. Ed.
Parent Coach (she/her)
Language: English

emily-trotman-headshot2

My story as a parent begins when I was a child. I grew up in the shadow of a complex brother. I loved him unconditionally, as sisters love their big brothers. But his frequent and violent rages were scary and I feared them.

If my brother had grown up today, he would have been diagnosed ADHD and maybe on the autism spectrum. Back in the 70’s, our awareness of brain-based challenges was limited.

Life was tough for my brother. It was a life filled with rejection--from family, his peers and the community. He was seen as naughty and misbehaving, even when it wasn’t his fault.

Seeing the world through my brother’s eyes gave me compassion for how hard it is to be a complex kid, and for the parents who are doing the best they can with the information they have.

We want to raise capable kids—adults, really—who are able to manage their own emotions, pursue their interests, have healthy relationships. We want our homes to be filled with joy, calm and love—and it can happen. But it can be hard to get there.

Doing it differently is hard!

When my own children were born, I was eager to have things be different. But no matter how hard I tried, my first decade as a parent I felt depleted and in constant struggle with how to handle the intensity of parenting. I felt as though I did everything wrong.

When our second daughter was born, I went into anxiety overload. My inner critic (known in coaching as the Saboteur) got loud.

“Get going! It isn’t that hard!” I told myself. “You only have two kids, some people have many more!”

Having a Masters in Early Childhood Education made me think I should be able to manage better. I had 20 years of experience in the classroom, after all! But it was hard.

Then my body shut down. I had difficulty eating, suffered panic attacks and insomnia. It was dire. I told my doctor he might need to check me into the psych ward if I didn’t get some sleep -- now.

Asking for Help--for Me.

Finally, I sought treatment with an anxiety specialist and decided to try medication. These worked well for me and I began to be able to sleep, eat and function again. Most likely there was a root cause to the overwhelm—was it undiagnosed ADHD? Perhaps. Brain-based challenges have a heredity component.

So, as my children grew older and their complexities emerged—struggles with executive functioning, sensorial-seeking behaviors, social and academic anxieties—I needed to continue to manage my own anxiety in order to be the parent they needed. They needed to know I believed in them, but first I had to believe in myself.

Enter the Coach-Approach.

When I became certified as a coach, things crystallized for me as a mom. My Aha moment? I learned to stop judging myself and my daughters and start accepting them for who they were.

Now I can safely say that life is much more fun. With my oldest child, I am in a new phase--more of her champion and supporter, which feels amazing. Though she is far away at college, I feel closer to her than ever. I treasure our relationship.

When I came across the ImpactParents coaching model it felt like coming home. This model for parenting any child of any age is the best I have ever seen, and I am thrilled to be a part of the team.

You are here.

Using the coach-approach is powerful for me, and I know it can be for you, too.

While there are no perfect answers, there is an approach—that you can learn – that will improve your relationship with yourself, and with your kids. You’ve got this!

  • Certified by The Coach Training Institute (CTI) as a Certified Professional Co-Active Coaching (CPCC); Certification by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) is pending.
  • Certified Sanity School® Trainer with ImpactParents.com
  • Provide private coaching to parents of complex kids and group coaching in ImpactParent’s group coaching program, Parent Success System (PSS)
  • Masters in Early Childhood Education, Loyola University, MD & Certified Montessori Teacher (AMI).
  • Certified Parent Educator, Positive Discipline Association. Regularly hold school workshops at local schools and libraries
  • National Education Association for Borderline Personality Disorders (NEA-BPD). Family Connections leader training
  • Presenter for Greenwich Public Schools, and business groups. NASDAQ, UBS and Schrodinger are clients
  • Facilitator, Parents in Action-NYC. Professionally trained to lead parent discussions at independent schools in New York City
  • Writer of innovative parent curriculum for International Baccalaureate (IB) schools
  • Teacher, Music Together. Early parent-child programming on basic musical skills.
  • Teacher, 20 years of varied experience at middle, elementary and preschool levels, such as: The Hill School (Middleburg, VA), Ruffing Montessori School (Cleveland, Ohio), Resurrection Episcopal Day School (New York, New York), & The Peterson School (Mexico City, Mexico).

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